If only I wrote this on Thanksgiving, right? lol.
I'm feeling super thankful for all the things that have been happening in my life lately, and I realize that I updated people in my life and the people I'm friends with on Facebook, but I never really threw things out to social media, and honestly... that's okay. Social media definitely doesn't need to know anything, but I'm way down to update my social media/mostly Instagram friends what I'm doing. And I thought that it would be fun to do that by listing what I'm thankful for currently.
+ I'm thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ/I'm thankful for the LDS Church.
I truly don't know where I would be in life without it. PS, you should definitely click on that link and check out #LightTheWorld! It's one of my favorite parts of the year when it comes to the church. Also, I'm thankful for the temples. I love being able to go up to Seattle (I miss the days where I was in Utah and there was a temple within ten minutes of wherever I was) and being so close to God. I never don't feel at peace at the temple.
+ I'm obviously thankful for my family and friends.
One of my best friends and someone who was also my roommate is currently serving a mission in London South, and I'm so proud of him. He has a really awesome conversion story, and he didn't only do it so he could date one of my very best friends... even though we all laugh that it was probably the only reason why. (; Nahh I'm kidding. They ended up getting engaged, then they broke up, but they've been back together for awhile and now he's on a mission and he's doing so so good over there. Pray for him! Someone else who's gearing up to serve her own mission is my sister! She's leaving in January and she'll be in Charleston, West Virginia! She's really excited, and so am I, because she had been wanting to serve a mission for a long time, and since she turns nineteen officially this month (happy December), she's out doing that! And I'm happy that I get to lowkey live through her because I can't serve a mission myself.
+ I'm thankful for school.
I graduated from Utah State University a year earlier than I should have, and I went to law school at the University of Utah before I moved back home to Seattle. I'm thankful for doing the absolute most to do what I can to transfer, and I'm so thankful to be able to say that I am transferring. I'm transferring and I'm way way way way grateful for that. Transferring law schools is an extremely difficult thing to do and normally it just won't happen, especially after only being a 1L (1L is referred to as your first year of law school - 2L and 3L are your second and third years)... and I didn't even finish 1L. It's more than impossible for it to happen, and they don't really care about your GPA or LSAT scores and it's mostly about your grades, and my grades were baller, so that's nice. I'm actually retaking the LSAT tomorrow, but that's mostly for my own personal preference. I'm always doing things in the most trying ways, but it always ends up being okay so whatever. I'm excited to move. It'll be lit. Or whatever the kids say these days.
+ I'm thankful for job opportunities.
I'm moving to London next year to be a teacher and I've never been more thankful to have that chance. I'll be there from next spring to next summer, right before I move for the above topic, and if it's anything teaching related, I'll probably do it. I've been a teacher off and on since I was in college, and I was a volunteer teacher for a few months earlier this year also in Europe, and it was an amazing experience. I come from a family of teachers, and I didn't think that teaching was my calling or in my blood, but college definitely changed that. When I transferred to Utah State, my major was Family Life Studies, but I switched it to Elementary Education and I never looked back. My mom loves to give me stuff about how wrong I was and how right she was. Who knew?
+ I'm thankful for being able to travel all around the world.
I've been so many places this year, whether that be for fun, for work, or on a layover. It's been awesome experiencing so many places and seeing all the corners of the world. I think I've been to almost every single country in Europe this year alone, and I really want to go play and hang out and explore South Asia. Thailand would be a straight up dream!
+ I'm thankful for music.
I know it's such a small thing to be thankful for, but music is so good, you know? Forget about Instagram or Twitter, I think Spotify is my most used app. I've had Spotify Premium for about a year now, and I can't even remember what life was like beforehand. I don't even remember what the free version of Spotify is like. I think there's a deal going around where you can have three months of Premium for only $0.99 a month for three months. That's the deal that was going last year around this time and, like switching my major, I never looked back. And plus, if you're a student, you can get Premium WITH Hulu for $4.99, like how amazing is that? It's the commercial version of Hulu, but who the heck cares? AND Taylor Swift just released Reputation to streaming sites, so now you can listen to it as many times as you want.
+ I'm thankful for sports.
Sports are fun to watch. I love football, I love baseball, and I love basketball. I have numerous teams that I care about, and I love to talk about them with people who care enough. Sports have been a huge part of my life for so long.
I'm truly thankful for a lot more things, but those are what I'm thankful for off the top of my head. I'm currently watching Extreme Couponing and eating ice cream, and I think that I'll be doing that for the rest of the day. Much love, y'all.
Thankful
Saturday, November 4, 2017
Today (November 4) is a really special day for me.
I had a heart transplant four years ago today. I know, right?
It's still weird for me to talk about, mostly because I don't really know if I know how to talk about it. I would love talk about it really in depth and talk about what happened in my life that led up to it, but all I know how to say is
I was able to live as long as I could and I was also able to graduate high school and move to Utah, which was my main goal at the time. Later on, I had a bigger and more important goal that became the main thing in my life, but later in the year I learned that I needed a new heart or I wasn't going to live into the new year, and with the things that were going on in my life at the time, that was really scary. I wanted to live. I needed to live.
And on November 4, 2013, I got just that. There was a heart for me, and I was given it. I woke up and I saw my mom and sister and brother (not my dad - of course) and I was in the most pain I had ever been in in my life and I haven't felt a pain like that since. I can't even describe what it was like, it was so awful and horrible and I don't wish that kind of pain on anyone. But I battled through it, and I came out stronger than I ever had been.
Later on, I moved almost halfway across the country. And after that, my daughter was born. November has always been an interesting month for me for all of that, but I'm better for all of that. I usually always get a lot of positive comments and whatnot, and I'm very thankful for that. But for the people who try and be mean and tell me "your heart isn't yours" or something like that... yes. I know that. My heart isn't mine. Someone had to die for me to live, and I understand that. I have survivor's guilt a lot because of that, and it's really difficult sometimes. I do my best to shrug off that kind of rudeness, but my goodness it's hard to do.
I don't know much about my donor or their family. I would really like to, and it's on my bucket list. I know that it's probably really hard for them, so I don't try and find them to write them, but I think I want to at some point next year as the other "huge thing" I do (I'll write about that later this month and I already have a lot of it drafted). I know the gender of my donor and how they died, and I pray for them every day and every night.
But today is about me and how it's my heart's birthday (for no reason at all I named her Francie, and it's just stuck) and how I'm alive because of a lot of different circumstances.
And I'm happy. And I'm blessed. And I'm thankful.
What a good month to be those things.
If I can give anyone any advice, it would to become an organ donor if you haven't already. Personally, I think it's one of the easiest things in the world. Click here to select your state to follow the directions. And go donate some blood if you're healthy enough! Click here to find out where the closest blood bank is to you!
See, McDreamy wants you to save lives and so do I! So if you don't want to save lives for me, at least do it for him!
Feel free to send me any questions you have through an email. I'm more than happy to talk about it.
I had a heart transplant four years ago today. I know, right?
It's still weird for me to talk about, mostly because I don't really know if I know how to talk about it. I would love talk about it really in depth and talk about what happened in my life that led up to it, but all I know how to say is
I was born with heart problems and had my very first heart surgery when I was less than a month old. I stayed pretty healthy after that, and I was able to do track and field in high school until I got sick with all of my illnesses that I have even to this day. My heart also began to also get more and more sick, and I needed surgeries. Eventually, it got to the point where I needed a new heart or else I wasn't going to live long at all.
I was able to live as long as I could and I was also able to graduate high school and move to Utah, which was my main goal at the time. Later on, I had a bigger and more important goal that became the main thing in my life, but later in the year I learned that I needed a new heart or I wasn't going to live into the new year, and with the things that were going on in my life at the time, that was really scary. I wanted to live. I needed to live.
And on November 4, 2013, I got just that. There was a heart for me, and I was given it. I woke up and I saw my mom and sister and brother (not my dad - of course) and I was in the most pain I had ever been in in my life and I haven't felt a pain like that since. I can't even describe what it was like, it was so awful and horrible and I don't wish that kind of pain on anyone. But I battled through it, and I came out stronger than I ever had been.
Later on, I moved almost halfway across the country. And after that, my daughter was born. November has always been an interesting month for me for all of that, but I'm better for all of that. I usually always get a lot of positive comments and whatnot, and I'm very thankful for that. But for the people who try and be mean and tell me "your heart isn't yours" or something like that... yes. I know that. My heart isn't mine. Someone had to die for me to live, and I understand that. I have survivor's guilt a lot because of that, and it's really difficult sometimes. I do my best to shrug off that kind of rudeness, but my goodness it's hard to do.
I don't know much about my donor or their family. I would really like to, and it's on my bucket list. I know that it's probably really hard for them, so I don't try and find them to write them, but I think I want to at some point next year as the other "huge thing" I do (I'll write about that later this month and I already have a lot of it drafted). I know the gender of my donor and how they died, and I pray for them every day and every night.
But today is about me and how it's my heart's birthday (for no reason at all I named her Francie, and it's just stuck) and how I'm alive because of a lot of different circumstances.
And I'm happy. And I'm blessed. And I'm thankful.
What a good month to be those things.
If I can give anyone any advice, it would to become an organ donor if you haven't already. Personally, I think it's one of the easiest things in the world. Click here to select your state to follow the directions. And go donate some blood if you're healthy enough! Click here to find out where the closest blood bank is to you!
Feel free to send me any questions you have through an email. I'm more than happy to talk about it.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Oh... hi there!
It's been awhile since I've actually sat down and done a proper blog. My life has been nothing but busy this year and honestly... I'm alright with it. I went to Lithuania for a couple of months to teach English to kids, and I got really sick around the end of my stay there, and when I got home, I found out that I had tumors in a few places in my body. The one tumor I have in my brain is still there, but the other ones are removed and I'm doing alright with that.
I have a boyfriend. Which is really cool. I'm kind of leaving it at that because if I start talking about him then I probably won't stop, and that's pretty much okay. He's one of my favorite topics. Fun fact, I've talked about him a number of times before, so you're probably familiar with him. His name is Henry*. And I'm in love with him.
Recently, I haven't been okay in my day to day, personal life. I came home and I stayed home pretty much. I've been to Utah a few times and I went to Disneyland/Los Angeles with my family before my sister moved to Utah for college. I was in Vegas last week to see my favorite band for the 295th time. But other than that, I haven't really done too much, and I guess that's okay because yes I have a job. In fact, I have two jobs, which I love very much. It's not about money or anything of the sort. It's about my depression. It's about my mental illnesses in general. It's about me being sick in general.
I don't feel okay to live on my own. That in itself I think is a good thing to admit; I'm not stable enough and I feel like I'll die if I do. But lately, I've been making a lot of changes and it feels so stinking good. I don't talk to many people anymore, and the people I do talk to I know are people who back me up. They're there for me. They're my people. You know? I had a milestone the other day, and I became five years free of self harm. I don't cut myself anymore and I'm thankful for that. The day after that, I went back to therapy for the first time since.. oh man, maybe FOUR years. I was thinking about it and I think I was in therapy for a second when I was in Provo but not Logan. Which is even more of an accomplishment for me when I think about it.
I chose to go to therapy. I wanted to. And I still want to. And my session there earlier this week was good. I don't feel new and rebranded or anything just yet, and that's fine. I'm not expecting to feel 100% better after one visit but it's a start and at the end of the day, that's what matters. I'm getting better and I'm taking the steps myself to not be as sick. My goal is to be in my own place and feeling good on my own by December. I know it's the end of September now, but I want that to be my goal. I want to not be sad at things and cry over a garbage bag box or cry over literal spilled milk. At the end of the year, I want to live in a cute little place with my plants and maybe a cat.
This used to be some cute fashion blog. I used to share my Bath & Body Works. I used to share songs. This isn't that blog anymore. This is for my healing. And probably sharing songs I like, let's be real. Music saves lives.
Join my journey with me? Then stay tuned.
* = maybe his name is Henry. Who knows? I sure don't.
It's been awhile since I've actually sat down and done a proper blog. My life has been nothing but busy this year and honestly... I'm alright with it. I went to Lithuania for a couple of months to teach English to kids, and I got really sick around the end of my stay there, and when I got home, I found out that I had tumors in a few places in my body. The one tumor I have in my brain is still there, but the other ones are removed and I'm doing alright with that.
I have a boyfriend. Which is really cool. I'm kind of leaving it at that because if I start talking about him then I probably won't stop, and that's pretty much okay. He's one of my favorite topics. Fun fact, I've talked about him a number of times before, so you're probably familiar with him. His name is Henry*. And I'm in love with him.
Recently, I haven't been okay in my day to day, personal life. I came home and I stayed home pretty much. I've been to Utah a few times and I went to Disneyland/Los Angeles with my family before my sister moved to Utah for college. I was in Vegas last week to see my favorite band for the 295th time. But other than that, I haven't really done too much, and I guess that's okay because yes I have a job. In fact, I have two jobs, which I love very much. It's not about money or anything of the sort. It's about my depression. It's about my mental illnesses in general. It's about me being sick in general.
I don't feel okay to live on my own. That in itself I think is a good thing to admit; I'm not stable enough and I feel like I'll die if I do. But lately, I've been making a lot of changes and it feels so stinking good. I don't talk to many people anymore, and the people I do talk to I know are people who back me up. They're there for me. They're my people. You know? I had a milestone the other day, and I became five years free of self harm. I don't cut myself anymore and I'm thankful for that. The day after that, I went back to therapy for the first time since.. oh man, maybe FOUR years. I was thinking about it and I think I was in therapy for a second when I was in Provo but not Logan. Which is even more of an accomplishment for me when I think about it.
I chose to go to therapy. I wanted to. And I still want to. And my session there earlier this week was good. I don't feel new and rebranded or anything just yet, and that's fine. I'm not expecting to feel 100% better after one visit but it's a start and at the end of the day, that's what matters. I'm getting better and I'm taking the steps myself to not be as sick. My goal is to be in my own place and feeling good on my own by December. I know it's the end of September now, but I want that to be my goal. I want to not be sad at things and cry over a garbage bag box or cry over literal spilled milk. At the end of the year, I want to live in a cute little place with my plants and maybe a cat.
This used to be some cute fashion blog. I used to share my Bath & Body Works. I used to share songs. This isn't that blog anymore. This is for my healing. And probably sharing songs I like, let's be real. Music saves lives.
Join my journey with me? Then stay tuned.
* = maybe his name is Henry. Who knows? I sure don't.
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
It's been SO LONG since I've blogged on here. I jumped ship and was on Wordpress for a little bit, but I think I'm back on here for good. I'm not sure yet. I used to be one of those girls from Utah who blogged, but that's just not me. I have a lot of stuff on here so clearly blogging has gone on the back burner. But since I haven't properly blogged on here since the summer, an update post and what my plans are going forward in life will be posted on here at some point.
This isn't that post though. This post is about today. March 8, 2017.
Today is International Women's Day. A day for me. A day for my mom. My best friends. And all the other ladies of the world. Today is for the kickass women we are and who we always will be. Today we celebrate women. We should all be feminists. We need equality and rights. We need to raise our daughters to be the strong warriors they will grow up to be, to take no crap from others, to stand up for themselves. To defend themselves. To speak up for themselves.
The sorority I'm in has taught me literally to be a Real Strong Woman and for my other sisters to be Real Strong Women. I truly think that if I never pledged that I wouldn't know what I know now. I've learned so much in the small amount of time I was in college with my sisters (I never went Greek my freshman year like so many girls do). I was blessed to be with a sorority with a philanthropy that has raised so much money for domestic violence awareness. Just recently my sorority will now accept transgenders to pledge, which is the best thing I've heard probably this whole year. Like seriously, get you a sorority that's as cool as mine. Honestly. Do it. I'll wait.
We deserve so much more. We fight for what we deserve. We let our voices be heard. We don't go down without a fight.
This isn't that post though. This post is about today. March 8, 2017.
Today is International Women's Day. A day for me. A day for my mom. My best friends. And all the other ladies of the world. Today is for the kickass women we are and who we always will be. Today we celebrate women. We should all be feminists. We need equality and rights. We need to raise our daughters to be the strong warriors they will grow up to be, to take no crap from others, to stand up for themselves. To defend themselves. To speak up for themselves.
The sorority I'm in has taught me literally to be a Real Strong Woman and for my other sisters to be Real Strong Women. I truly think that if I never pledged that I wouldn't know what I know now. I've learned so much in the small amount of time I was in college with my sisters (I never went Greek my freshman year like so many girls do). I was blessed to be with a sorority with a philanthropy that has raised so much money for domestic violence awareness. Just recently my sorority will now accept transgenders to pledge, which is the best thing I've heard probably this whole year. Like seriously, get you a sorority that's as cool as mine. Honestly. Do it. I'll wait.
We deserve so much more. We fight for what we deserve. We let our voices be heard. We don't go down without a fight.
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