I had a heart transplant four years ago today. I know, right?
It's still weird for me to talk about, mostly because I don't really know if I know how to talk about it. I would love talk about it really in depth and talk about what happened in my life that led up to it, but all I know how to say is
I was born with heart problems and had my very first heart surgery when I was less than a month old. I stayed pretty healthy after that, and I was able to do track and field in high school until I got sick with all of my illnesses that I have even to this day. My heart also began to also get more and more sick, and I needed surgeries. Eventually, it got to the point where I needed a new heart or else I wasn't going to live long at all.
I was able to live as long as I could and I was also able to graduate high school and move to Utah, which was my main goal at the time. Later on, I had a bigger and more important goal that became the main thing in my life, but later in the year I learned that I needed a new heart or I wasn't going to live into the new year, and with the things that were going on in my life at the time, that was really scary. I wanted to live. I needed to live.
And on November 4, 2013, I got just that. There was a heart for me, and I was given it. I woke up and I saw my mom and sister and brother (not my dad - of course) and I was in the most pain I had ever been in in my life and I haven't felt a pain like that since. I can't even describe what it was like, it was so awful and horrible and I don't wish that kind of pain on anyone. But I battled through it, and I came out stronger than I ever had been.
Later on, I moved almost halfway across the country. And after that, my daughter was born. November has always been an interesting month for me for all of that, but I'm better for all of that. I usually always get a lot of positive comments and whatnot, and I'm very thankful for that. But for the people who try and be mean and tell me "your heart isn't yours" or something like that... yes. I know that. My heart isn't mine. Someone had to die for me to live, and I understand that. I have survivor's guilt a lot because of that, and it's really difficult sometimes. I do my best to shrug off that kind of rudeness, but my goodness it's hard to do.
I don't know much about my donor or their family. I would really like to, and it's on my bucket list. I know that it's probably really hard for them, so I don't try and find them to write them, but I think I want to at some point next year as the other "huge thing" I do (I'll write about that later this month and I already have a lot of it drafted). I know the gender of my donor and how they died, and I pray for them every day and every night.
But today is about me and how it's my heart's birthday (for no reason at all I named her Francie, and it's just stuck) and how I'm alive because of a lot of different circumstances.
And I'm happy. And I'm blessed. And I'm thankful.
What a good month to be those things.
If I can give anyone any advice, it would to become an organ donor if you haven't already. Personally, I think it's one of the easiest things in the world. Click here to select your state to follow the directions. And go donate some blood if you're healthy enough! Click here to find out where the closest blood bank is to you!
Feel free to send me any questions you have through an email. I'm more than happy to talk about it.
