Last night, I wrote out basically what I'm about to write on here with tears streaming down my face.

Right now I'm writing this out on here with a smile on my face.

It's a total "neat-o" moment when you can write down the same words but feeling completely different after X amount of time, ya know?

No, I'm not "back". I'm just here so I won't get fined.

Jk. //but really.. I'm just 'bout that action, boss//

I'm here because I have free time. All of tonight and Tuesday. I'm real stoked about that.

Anyway. I wrote out basically these exact words in my journal last night that I'm going to share.

--

You know, it's okay.

It's okay if you don't have your life figured out by the time you're twenty. Alright? Here's a secret. It's okay if you don't have your life figured out by twenty one. Or even twenty two. Remember that.

I don't know if I want to go back to teaching when I get out of here.
And that's okay. It's okay if I don't want to go back. And it's okay if I do.

It's okay not knowing how things are going to go. No one knows how things are going to go. And NO ONE has life figured out. Absolutely no one. If someone says that they have life figured out, then I'm going to go ahead and assume that they're delusional as all heck. Because that's a load of crap.

No one has life figured out. Some people know how to handle it and juggle it in their hands better than others. And that's okay too.

It's okay if I want to take shaky videos with my iPhone and upload them to Vimeo.

It's okay if I want to go back to BYU (probs not but it's okay neversayneveryanno).

It's okay if the person I'm head over heels for lives on an entirely different continent.

It's okay to be antsy that a guy you used to have "relations" with is coming home soon and you're feeling confused because when he left, he left a lot of options on the table.

It's okay to feel scared.

It's okay to not know what you want.

It's okay to have a huge collection of Bath & Body Works.

It's okay to (politely) ask people to buy all the Lilly Pulitzer from Target.

It's okay to take a nap.

It's okay to break the rules once in awhile.

It's okay to not be okay.

It's okay.

--

Anyway, that's what I wrote last night. It's okay. That's going to be my mantra for awhile. For the first twenty days of the month, it was "treat yo self". Because it's also nice to treat yo self once in awhile. But keeping yourself in check and reminding yourself that it's okay can make a world of difference.

I love you.

And last thing.. it's okay to only be here so you won't get fined.

xx

Good things

Hey. No, I'm not back. Basically what I decided to do is email my friends/cousin blog posts and they'll just copy and paste them from the email. Below, I've written out just a list of some of the things that I like. Things that are good. Everyone needs a thing or two of the good variety, so here's just a small list of good things.

Sunshine | Friends | Cherry Coke | Mountains | Humans | Stud Muffins | Emails | Smiling | Reading | Books | Music | Utah | College | Photography | Mountains | Dogs | The smell after it rains | The smell on your clothes after being by campfire | Climbing trees | Scraped knees | People who ask how you're doing | Hair | Lotion | Glitter | Bucket lists | Japan | True happiness | The feeling after having a huge cry session | Chocolate | General Conference | Paintings | Cherry blossoms | Smoothie bowls | Yoga | Art | Cooking | Easter | Cute notes

I love you guys. I'm alive and I'm doing well. Talk to you next week! Sorry it's short, I'm running out of email time. I'll try and send an email of something fun or some stories or something next week!

x

Thankful Thursday on a Friday

That was copy and pasted. HELLO. IT IS I, FROM THE FUTURE.

Everything is the same, just so everyone knows. Literally nothing changed.

It would have been so cool if I posted this on a Tuesday (ya know... GOING UP ON A TUESDAY.. or not. Pls be my friend I'm really cool!) but today is Friday. So this is copy and pasted. I know I said I was going to write a post on Thursday. My bad. I was busy doing absolutely..... nothing. I wanted a day where I could just relax and chill for one day before I left (I have to say that in past tense now, weird). So the only thing I did was say goodbye/see you later to my sweet first graders.

Who I'm not going to see until August when they go on up to second grade. I'm never going to have a class with them again. And it seriously breaks my heart. They were really sad about it, and it was hard to tell them why I was leaving. Six year olds aren't going to understand the reasons why I left, so I had to tell them that I was leaving so I could make myself a whole lot happier than I currently was/am.

And I don't know how much of it they understood, but they still gave me a lot of lovins regardless. And when I went back to my car when I was through, I sobbed for a good half hour. Literally the sweetest batch of kids I know. I'm so happy I was able to be (one of) their teacher(s) for as long as I could.

Anyway, here's what I'm thankful for.

• Adorable first graders, reasons above ^
• Family and friends for sticking with me through whatever happens in my life.
• Music and books, for always being great time passers.
• Friends who understand how to blog for me/take care of social media.
• Myself for knowing when enough is enough.

There's a few more that I should put in there, but I wanted to keep this short. The basics are mentioned above. That's really all.

Talk to you all in four months.

xx

What I Wore Wednesday (sick edition)

Well, here we are.

The last 'What I Wore Wednesday' for four months. To be honest, I'm going to really miss posting what I wore. I'm going to miss knowing where I got certain items and tracking them down online to post how much things are in case anyone wants to purchase something of their own.

I'm going to miss posting what I wore a lot. No matter how vain that might make me sound. But I don't care. I'm doing something that I like and something that I think that's fun, and there's no harm in that. Literally posting an outfit of the day in blog form and not in selfie form on Instagram is a lot more refreshing. Even though I do like seeing what things people wear so maybe I can draw ideas from whatever it is that said person is wearing.

Without further ado, here is what I wore today.

The sick edition. And when I mean "sick", I mean "I literally wanted to do nothing but stay at home and puke my guts away because I feel like crap but I have to run really last minute errands because I leave on Friday and need to do last minute things".

So I was looking super casual today.

Like... super. I mean, I did wear more than sweats and a sweatshirt, but I wanted nothing more than to go back home and die.

Here we go.

Hoodie: Already blogged about, but $49.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Shirt: $20.00 at Fight The New Drug*. Find it here.
Jeans: I can't remember specifically where I got them, but I found an extremely similar pair on Target's website. $29.99 to $30.99 here.
Socks: $11.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Shoes: $60.00 at Converse. Find them here.
Sunglasses: YES, those are actual authentic Prada sunglasses. N-O, I did not buy them myself. They were a gift. I could never spend that amount on sunglasses myself. $300.00 at Saks Fifth Avenue (I'm not kidding). Find them here. Or not, and go to the store and get a cheap pair for $5.

It's going to be kind of weird not getting to talk about myself and about what I wear (haha). But like I've said, I'm not leaving for forever. I'll come back, and these posts will continue and it'll almost be like I never left.

Except for, you know, the four month absence. But it could be worse! I could be gone for five months haha!

* = porn doesn't just kill relationships, people. Porn has the (truly disgusting) power to kill people. Get in the know here, or by going to www.fightthenewdrug.org

Sometimes I make things ft/monograms

I really like making things. I really like making cool graphic things. I tinkered with the idea of majoring in graphic design more than once in my life, but if I change my major again I think I'll go crazy. So I just keep it a hobby at this point, especially when the furthest thing I can do is make really cute things with apps on my phone.

My Instagram aesthetic is making STUPID adorable pictures with a couple different apps. Since, you know, I'm all about being cute and posting adorable things. But within the month I've been real into monogramming things. Specifically, making monogrammed wallpapers for mobile devices.

I. Love. Monograms. Trust me though, I really doubt I'll be monogramming my future children because I think that's a little extreme, but monogrammed wallpapers are not extreme, and I love making them both just recreationally and for other people. I don't get paid to do it, and I definitely DON'T expect anyone to pay me for making something with a dinky app. It's just for fun.

Here are some of the things I've made, among many others.

I can make them in a billion different ways with a billion different backgrounds, color schemes, and fonts. Even the generic 'middle initial, first initial, last initial' that everyone loves. I can do full first names (depending on the text background), aaaand I can do Greek letters (shoutout to Kappa Kappa Gamma, the first sorority I thought of, but I've made numerous other chapters as well).

I don't know yo, I just like making monogrammed wallpapers. FEEL FREE to ask me to make one for you and I'll do my best to get it to you!

xx