Right now I'm writing this out on here with a smile on my face.
It's a total "neat-o" moment when you can write down the same words but feeling completely different after X amount of time, ya know?
No, I'm not "back". I'm just here so I won't get fined.
Jk. //but really.. I'm just 'bout that action, boss//
I'm here because I have free time. All of tonight and Tuesday. I'm real stoked about that.
Anyway. I wrote out basically these exact words in my journal last night that I'm going to share.
--
You know, it's okay.
It's okay if you don't have your life figured out by the time you're twenty. Alright? Here's a secret. It's okay if you don't have your life figured out by twenty one. Or even twenty two. Remember that.
I don't know if I want to go back to teaching when I get out of here.
And that's okay. It's okay if I don't want to go back. And it's okay if I do.
It's okay not knowing how things are going to go. No one knows how things are going to go. And NO ONE has life figured out. Absolutely no one. If someone says that they have life figured out, then I'm going to go ahead and assume that they're delusional as all heck. Because that's a load of crap.
No one has life figured out. Some people know how to handle it and juggle it in their hands better than others. And that's okay too.
It's okay if I want to take shaky videos with my iPhone and upload them to Vimeo.
It's okay if I want to go back to BYU (probs not but it's okay neversayneveryanno).
It's okay if the person I'm head over heels for lives on an entirely different continent.
It's okay to be antsy that a guy you used to have "relations" with is coming home soon and you're feeling confused because when he left, he left a lot of options on the table.
It's okay to feel scared.
It's okay to not know what you want.
It's okay to have a huge collection of Bath & Body Works.
It's okay to (politely) ask people to buy all the Lilly Pulitzer from Target.
It's okay to take a nap.
It's okay to break the rules once in awhile.
It's okay to not be okay.
It's okay.
--
Anyway, that's what I wrote last night. It's okay. That's going to be my mantra for awhile. For the first twenty days of the month, it was "treat yo self". Because it's also nice to treat yo self once in awhile. But keeping yourself in check and reminding yourself that it's okay can make a world of difference.
I love you.
And last thing.. it's okay to only be here so you won't get fined.
xx
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