I actually have like, twelve* posts that I'm trying to write but I don't have a lot of time to do things like that at this moment.
So here are the tunes that I'm cranking this weekend while I have next to nothing to do (and I should take that time to make blog posts). (actually jk this weekend is going to be stupid busy)
When You Were Mine** - Night Terrors of 1927 feat Teagan & Sara
Weekend - Priory
Extraordinary - Liz Phair
Ottoman - Vampire Weekend
Starring - Freelance Whales
Elevate - St. Lucia
My Hands - Chaos Chaos
Piazza, New York Catcher - Belle and Sebastian
Pseudologia Fantastica - Foster the People
All Alone - fun.
Links are the song titles.
xx
* = okay, more like two.
** = this song always makes me think of the Autumn/Winter months. This song was most relevant to me from November 2014 to about January 2015.
Weekend music
Monday, May 25, 2015
I found a fun tag. So I'm going to do it.
Also I'm bored and stalling on this super sick blog post that I'm writing about this idiot guy I used to like a few years ago. Totally gnarly.
It's called the "four" tag. And you'll probably find out why it's called that in a second.
--
Four nicknames:
Lily, Lil, Blondie, Beckie.
Four jobs I have had:
Cupcake baker, nanny, caregiver, book seller.
Four movies I have watched more than once:
Snakes on a Place, Walk the Line, The Avengers, The Wizard of Oz.
Four things in my purse:
My phone is probably in there, gum, wallet, keys.
Four books I would recommend:
Shiver, Just Listen, Thirteen Reasons Why, Fishbowl.
Four places I have visited:
Mexico, Australia (best), Norway, Denmark (on a layover).
Four places I have lived:
Utah, Washington, Texas. I don't think I've lived in a fourth place. Unless it's talking about specific cities/towns.
Four places I would like to visit:
Spain, Japan, Italy, Iceland.
Four favorite foods (alliteration ftw):
Fruit, fruit, fruit, fruit.
Four favorite drinks:
Coffee, water, smoothies, juice.
Four TV shows:
Bones, Castle, NCIS, Grey's Anatomy.
Four things I'm looking forward to in 2015:
Getting out of here, going Greek, going adventuring with my BFF's later, being happy.
--
See why it's called the four tag?
Ha.
xx
Also I'm bored and stalling on this super sick blog post that I'm writing about this idiot guy I used to like a few years ago. Totally gnarly.
It's called the "four" tag. And you'll probably find out why it's called that in a second.
--
Four nicknames:
Lily, Lil, Blondie, Beckie.
Four jobs I have had:
Cupcake baker, nanny, caregiver, book seller.
Four movies I have watched more than once:
Snakes on a Place, Walk the Line, The Avengers, The Wizard of Oz.
Four things in my purse:
My phone is probably in there, gum, wallet, keys.
Four books I would recommend:
Shiver, Just Listen, Thirteen Reasons Why, Fishbowl.
Four places I have visited:
Mexico, Australia (best), Norway, Denmark (on a layover).
Four places I have lived:
Utah, Washington, Texas. I don't think I've lived in a fourth place. Unless it's talking about specific cities/towns.
Four places I would like to visit:
Spain, Japan, Italy, Iceland.
Four favorite foods (alliteration ftw):
Fruit, fruit, fruit, fruit.
Four favorite drinks:
Coffee, water, smoothies, juice.
Four TV shows:
Bones, Castle, NCIS, Grey's Anatomy.
Four things I'm looking forward to in 2015:
Getting out of here, going Greek, going adventuring with my BFF's later, being happy.
--
See why it's called the four tag?
Ha.
xx
Monday, May 18, 2015
If you knew me last year, you'll know that I picked up volleyball as a recreational thing that I'd do when my body was being a little bit nicer to me than usual.
I started playing with some people... sometime in April of 2014 or so. I played it when I was everywhere, most notably when I lived in the good ol' Pacific Northwest. So it's been about a year since I started playing. There was a break when I stopped playing in October or so, mostly so I could focus on school and work and adult life (always so much fun).
But about ten of us girls, myself included, decided to put up a volleyball net that was around here and we played volleyball yesterday for a few hours. And it was so weird getting back into playing it when I hadn't been in seven months.
So needless to say, I'm a little bit rusty on my serve. Go figure. (;
I'm also feeling a little nostalgic.
Last year when we played, I was with a big group of people who all were over the age of twenty one. So sometimes they would go to a bar to do a "pre game warm up" thing. And even if I was over twenty one, I probably wouldn't go into a bar anyway. Bars and taverns and what have you aren't my thing. I'd rather get wastypants in the comfort of my house*.
So while they would pre game, I would sit in the car and I'd pretty much do the same exact thing every single time like clockwork**.
I would listen to the song Detlef Schrempf by Band of Horses*** and text the guy I liked at the time. With him specifically, I could pretty easily gage when he would be off work and when I could talk to him.
Idk. I really liked him at the time and it really seemed (to me) that he liked me back. To the point where I pulled the "assertive" card (lmao) and asked him if he liked me. Like a crush. Specifically, I asked him "Do you like me? As in a crush?" and I think it's so sad that I remember that haha. But almost every single day I would text him and listen to that song.
And our text conversations would last pretty much from then until he went to bed. He was really cool because he lived in the state I grew up in (though he didn't grow up there) so I always thought that there was a lot of potential.
We never dated. Not once. And that's okay. Later on during the summer, he basically found someone more convenient for him. And that's okay too. Sure the timing of it was awful and I was really bitter and sad and pissed off about it, but you get over it.
Back to volleyball, there was a small break that we took for a few weeks and when we started up playing again, it brought back sad memories of playing that song and texting the guy I liked. I couldn't listen to that song and by that time I had deleted the guy's number so it was weird. Like it gave me a weird feeling, like I shouldn't be doing that. I ended up not listening to that song for a really long time****.
But pretty much after that was when life started to get really super great. When one door shuts, another door opens. AKA probably the coolest person ever. AKA some stupid cute stud muffin.
And the first volleyball of the year. With an entirely different group of people.
My main point of this post is that time is really weird. A whole year will change and you'll think to yourself "Whoa, that happened a year ago?!" and it did. It really did. Everything that I mentioned above, about volleyball pre gaming and texting a guy and listening to a song. It all happened one year ago.
And it's so crazy amazing to see what's happened in my life since May 18th, 2014.
A lot of bad has happened, but also a lot of good has happened. Haha yeah, I would never think that I would be HERE, where I currently am right now, one year ago. It was never once a thought in my mind. But I'm okay with where I am. I'm not playing volleyball in the same location I was at last year (or locations, I should say). I'm somewhere completely different. Do I like it? Well, it was the first time so it's too soon to tell but I don't hate it.
Time is weird. Life is weird. People are weird. Music is weird. Texting is weird. Pre gaming is very weird. Memories are weird.
One thing doesn't change, though.
The pain of playing volleyball for the first time in months is so real and it's going to eat you. The pain sucks. I don't know what I was expecting, honestly. Again... go figure. Haha!
But the girls I was with had a lot of fun. We all totally suck but it was fun over serving and the tall girls spiking it at each other. By no means are we all pro (that'd be a laugh) but it's a lot of fun.
loveyoumissyouall xxx
* = Drunk Lily is a gift and you all should meet her.
** = I usually always do the same thing every single day at the same exact time.
*** = Other than Detlef Schrempf being the COOLEST BASKETBALL PLAYER EVER, this is my second favorite song of all time, bar none.
**** = Oh, and guess what? Not only can I listen to this song again, but I can blare it. Except it's an extremely mellow song. Love love love it. Listen to it here.
I started playing with some people... sometime in April of 2014 or so. I played it when I was everywhere, most notably when I lived in the good ol' Pacific Northwest. So it's been about a year since I started playing. There was a break when I stopped playing in October or so, mostly so I could focus on school and work and adult life (always so much fun).
But about ten of us girls, myself included, decided to put up a volleyball net that was around here and we played volleyball yesterday for a few hours. And it was so weird getting back into playing it when I hadn't been in seven months.
So needless to say, I'm a little bit rusty on my serve. Go figure. (;
I'm also feeling a little nostalgic.
Last year when we played, I was with a big group of people who all were over the age of twenty one. So sometimes they would go to a bar to do a "pre game warm up" thing. And even if I was over twenty one, I probably wouldn't go into a bar anyway. Bars and taverns and what have you aren't my thing. I'd rather get wastypants in the comfort of my house*.
So while they would pre game, I would sit in the car and I'd pretty much do the same exact thing every single time like clockwork**.
I would listen to the song Detlef Schrempf by Band of Horses*** and text the guy I liked at the time. With him specifically, I could pretty easily gage when he would be off work and when I could talk to him.
Idk. I really liked him at the time and it really seemed (to me) that he liked me back. To the point where I pulled the "assertive" card (lmao) and asked him if he liked me. Like a crush. Specifically, I asked him "Do you like me? As in a crush?" and I think it's so sad that I remember that haha. But almost every single day I would text him and listen to that song.
And our text conversations would last pretty much from then until he went to bed. He was really cool because he lived in the state I grew up in (though he didn't grow up there) so I always thought that there was a lot of potential.
We never dated. Not once. And that's okay. Later on during the summer, he basically found someone more convenient for him. And that's okay too. Sure the timing of it was awful and I was really bitter and sad and pissed off about it, but you get over it.
Back to volleyball, there was a small break that we took for a few weeks and when we started up playing again, it brought back sad memories of playing that song and texting the guy I liked. I couldn't listen to that song and by that time I had deleted the guy's number so it was weird. Like it gave me a weird feeling, like I shouldn't be doing that. I ended up not listening to that song for a really long time****.
But pretty much after that was when life started to get really super great. When one door shuts, another door opens. AKA probably the coolest person ever. AKA some stupid cute stud muffin.
And the first volleyball of the year. With an entirely different group of people.
My main point of this post is that time is really weird. A whole year will change and you'll think to yourself "Whoa, that happened a year ago?!" and it did. It really did. Everything that I mentioned above, about volleyball pre gaming and texting a guy and listening to a song. It all happened one year ago.
And it's so crazy amazing to see what's happened in my life since May 18th, 2014.
A lot of bad has happened, but also a lot of good has happened. Haha yeah, I would never think that I would be HERE, where I currently am right now, one year ago. It was never once a thought in my mind. But I'm okay with where I am. I'm not playing volleyball in the same location I was at last year (or locations, I should say). I'm somewhere completely different. Do I like it? Well, it was the first time so it's too soon to tell but I don't hate it.
Time is weird. Life is weird. People are weird. Music is weird. Texting is weird. Pre gaming is very weird. Memories are weird.
One thing doesn't change, though.
The pain of playing volleyball for the first time in months is so real and it's going to eat you. The pain sucks. I don't know what I was expecting, honestly. Again... go figure. Haha!
But the girls I was with had a lot of fun. We all totally suck but it was fun over serving and the tall girls spiking it at each other. By no means are we all pro (that'd be a laugh) but it's a lot of fun.
loveyoumissyouall xxx
* = Drunk Lily is a gift and you all should meet her.
** = I usually always do the same thing every single day at the same exact time.
*** = Other than Detlef Schrempf being the COOLEST BASKETBALL PLAYER EVER, this is my second favorite song of all time, bar none.
**** = Oh, and guess what? Not only can I listen to this song again, but I can blare it. Except it's an extremely mellow song. Love love love it. Listen to it here.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
I'm 'that' bitch friend.
Straight up.
I am the bitchy friend in everyone's friend group.
But I know I'm the bitchy friend and it's not like I'm so bitchy I'm unaware to the fact that I am the bitchy friend.
And no, I'm not trying to get a meter going of how many times I say "bitch" or "bitchy".
Heads up y'all, I'm going to be saying it a lot in this post.
--
I'm a bitchy friend.
I'm self centered and I talk about myself. A LOT.
And I think that's been a big cause of so many friend breakups I've had with people over the last few years. I've been through a ton of things, and I guess I maybe lost the capability of asking people about themselves or talking about other people in general. All I know how to talk about is me and how I'm doing. And to talk about things that I'm going through.
It probably seems to a lot of people that all I can do is think about myself because I put that vibe out there. I have friends who tell me what they're doing in their life and I ignore it or pass it by or mention it briefly but then I always go back to myself.
And I don't want that to be the case.
I guess you could say that I'm the bitch friend on accident.
I don't mean to talk about myself or not ask you (you, as in someone I'm friends with, no one specific) about what you're doing in your life. I truly read what you're telling me and I'm so happy. I'm probably the number one fan of every single person I'm friends with. PLEASE tell me what you're doing. PLEASE talk to me about prom. PLEASE talk to me about graduation. Tell me about what's going on.
And PLEASE don't be offended if I don't acknowledge it. I truly do read what you're saying to me and I'm so proud of you and I want to give you a hug and cookies.
I just don't say it.
And I don't know why I don't and I don't know why I can't.
I've tried and I've tried and I've tried.
And I feel like I'm wearing out the "I'm sorry I don't know how to talk to other people about them and I'm trying" answer. Because I'm honestly been giving that answer for... probably a year and a half.
And I want to think that the whole "bitchy friend" thing stems from when my parents put me in therapy at the end-ish of my junior year of high school (circa... May 2012). As soon as I opened up to my therapist and would talk about the things I've gone through, I think I started seeing people in my every day life as a therapist, and would then talk to them about myself. And I don't think I've learned to stop doing that.
I'm not sure if that's correct or if that's even a good thing to say about myself. It sort of makes me sad when I think about it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm the accidental bitch friend, who will always support you and love you and be proud of every single good thing you're doing in your life, but I just won't tell you.
I think right now, the best thing to do is just tell me what you're doing in your life and to NOT mention me at all. Don't ask me what I'm doing. Don't say "I saw such and such and thought of you" or a variation of. Tell me what YOU are doing. And then I'll most likely ask questions and then we can get a conversation going like that.
But you know... only if you want to do that.
Also if you're my friend and don't like talking about yourself and are okay with me blabbing on and on about myself, then well... I guess that's chill.
I just want people to know that I'm the accidental bitch friend and that just because I don't talk to you about you doesn't mean I don't care about you. I love you all so much and you all mean the world to me, even if I have a shitty way of showing it. And I'm so sorry from the bottom of my heart if you feel upset because I don't talk about you or ask how you're doing. I'm so extremely sorry and I can't even put into words how sorry I am. Except that you try and let me get it right.
I truly love you all.
xx
Monday, May 11, 2015
Who knows.
Anyway, I was really freaking simple today. I only wore four things. All from different places too, who knew I could wear things that weren't from ModCloth.
Plot twist, yo.
I also kept it super pink and blush colored. Which is funny, because purple is my favorite color. I love me some purple.
Shirt: $23.50 at Head Over Heels*. Find it here.
Skirt: $28.99 at SexyModest. Find it here.
Earrings: $14.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Shoes: $20.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find them here.
xx
* = I love Head Over Heels. New fave place for sure.
Anyway, I was really freaking simple today. I only wore four things. All from different places too, who knew I could wear things that weren't from ModCloth.
Plot twist, yo.
I also kept it super pink and blush colored. Which is funny, because purple is my favorite color. I love me some purple.
Shirt: $23.50 at Head Over Heels*. Find it here.
Skirt: $28.99 at SexyModest. Find it here.
Earrings: $14.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Shoes: $20.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find them here.
xx
* = I love Head Over Heels. New fave place for sure.
Friday, May 8, 2015
I like going to the store and buying a crap ton of Otter Pops when I was supposed to get toiletries. I mean, I did get the products that I needed, but we also got a heckload of Otter Pops.
I also love changing my blog layout.
Happy Friday y'all.
I also love changing my blog layout.
Happy Friday y'all.
Monday, May 4, 2015
Hey y'all. Guess what?
I wore clothes today.
Specifically, I wore jeans. WHAT.
I never wear jeans if I can help it. I'm a skirt girl. And a dress girl. I love me some skirts and dresses. More specifically, the kinds of skirts and dresses that do the twirly thing when I twirl.
BECAUSE THAT'S SO COOL.
Ahem.
Anyway.
Here's what I wore today (even though I wore a dress to church. My ward was so stoked to see me and that stoked feeling was returned, btw).
Also I think this is going to be my last blog post before I go back! Which is crazy. The last couple days have kept me on my feet, that's for sure. I missed being out and about and being in the hustle and bustle of where I live, but I also have missed some of the girls that have grown to be my friends where I'm at. I know that I've definitely made some friendships there and I'm very much looking forward to be back with them.
And the adorable dogs.
Now I'll really get into what I wore today that wasn't church dress.
--
And I would put this at the end, but I made a mental note to actually talk about it and not make it an aside, but about the bag I wore today. That quote is my mantra. I am exactly where I need to be. I often talk about that exact thing on my Tumblr, and it's true. With a few very specific things in my life. A certain boy who is in my life, my jobs, my friends, etc. They are all in my life and they are in my life because I am right where I need to be.
Sometimes I would daydream about being a flapper girl in the 1920's, and while yes, that sounds awesome, I wouldn't have ANY of the people who are in my life. That certain boy? Nope. My jobs? No way. My friends? Forget about it. Nothing would be how they are. No, I'm right where I need to be. And I really like it. I really really do.
I like it a lot.
Shirt*: $29.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Jeans: $29.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find them here.
Shoes: Out of stock but $29.99 at ModCloth. Find them here anyway.
Tote: $14.99 at ModCloth. Find it here (and remember that you are right where you need to be).
Necklace**: $19.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Earrings: $22.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Earrings***: $12.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Ring: $19.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Ring: Out of stock but $12.99 at ModCloth. Find it here anyway.
Ring:****: $34.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
I'm going to miss blogging about this stuff again. But like I said, I'm never a total ghost. I have things that I wrote for people to copy and paste on here. So there's that.
Love you all, and all that good stuff.
xx
* = dat shirt tho. Since I am a mermaid, I have tons of underwater themed things.
** = world necklace because I'm a world traveler, duhh.
*** = I wore two pairs of earrings because I have more than one piercing. I actually have about... a billion piercings. Sorry, dad. I have so many holes in my head it isn't even funny. Too many to count in my ear, quite a few in my nose, and I have my smiley pierced. What's a smiley piercing? Check it here. Basically it's that weird piece of flesh stuff in your mouth that connects your gums to your upper lip.
**** = I junking love art deco. Let me marry art deco. I'm crazy about that ish. I. LOVE. ART. DECO.
I wore clothes today.
Specifically, I wore jeans. WHAT.
I never wear jeans if I can help it. I'm a skirt girl. And a dress girl. I love me some skirts and dresses. More specifically, the kinds of skirts and dresses that do the twirly thing when I twirl.
BECAUSE THAT'S SO COOL.
Ahem.
Anyway.
Here's what I wore today (even though I wore a dress to church. My ward was so stoked to see me and that stoked feeling was returned, btw).
Also I think this is going to be my last blog post before I go back! Which is crazy. The last couple days have kept me on my feet, that's for sure. I missed being out and about and being in the hustle and bustle of where I live, but I also have missed some of the girls that have grown to be my friends where I'm at. I know that I've definitely made some friendships there and I'm very much looking forward to be back with them.
And the adorable dogs.
Now I'll really get into what I wore today that wasn't church dress.
--
And I would put this at the end, but I made a mental note to actually talk about it and not make it an aside, but about the bag I wore today. That quote is my mantra. I am exactly where I need to be. I often talk about that exact thing on my Tumblr, and it's true. With a few very specific things in my life. A certain boy who is in my life, my jobs, my friends, etc. They are all in my life and they are in my life because I am right where I need to be.
Sometimes I would daydream about being a flapper girl in the 1920's, and while yes, that sounds awesome, I wouldn't have ANY of the people who are in my life. That certain boy? Nope. My jobs? No way. My friends? Forget about it. Nothing would be how they are. No, I'm right where I need to be. And I really like it. I really really do.
I like it a lot.
Shirt*: $29.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Jeans: $29.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find them here.
Shoes: Out of stock but $29.99 at ModCloth. Find them here anyway.
Tote: $14.99 at ModCloth. Find it here (and remember that you are right where you need to be).
Necklace**: $19.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Earrings: $22.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Earrings***: $12.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Ring: $19.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Ring: Out of stock but $12.99 at ModCloth. Find it here anyway.
Ring:****: $34.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
I'm going to miss blogging about this stuff again. But like I said, I'm never a total ghost. I have things that I wrote for people to copy and paste on here. So there's that.
Love you all, and all that good stuff.
xx
* = dat shirt tho. Since I am a mermaid, I have tons of underwater themed things.
** = world necklace because I'm a world traveler, duhh.
*** = I wore two pairs of earrings because I have more than one piercing. I actually have about... a billion piercings. Sorry, dad. I have so many holes in my head it isn't even funny. Too many to count in my ear, quite a few in my nose, and I have my smiley pierced. What's a smiley piercing? Check it here. Basically it's that weird piece of flesh stuff in your mouth that connects your gums to your upper lip.
**** = I junking love art deco. Let me marry art deco. I'm crazy about that ish. I. LOVE. ART. DECO.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Yoooo.
This blog just hit 1,000 page views! 1,002 to be specific!
Wow.
That's awesome.
1,002 people (probably including myself haha) have seen this thing.
You all are so awesome. I love you all. People probably don't go on here unless I make some janky post about it on my Tumblr (I see a lot of page views come from Tumblr ((by the way, I don't know at all exactly WHO is on it. It tells me by country who has been on it and what browser/device they're on and that's it. Nothing specific at all, I promise)) which is pretty correct in my mind) and whoever wants to see what I wore or read me talk about how hot I was last night (lol) does so.
And I'm not complaining. Please keep reading my blog!
And if anyone else has a blog, then comment and let me know! I would LOVE to read it! I don't even care if it's a journal blog that you're okay with sharing (and if it's private like my other word blog then I totally understand) or an *actual* fashion blog or a photography blog or whatever other blog! I love reading blogs and getting a sense of other people.
Plus.. I totally changed the layout of this thing a little bit. I wanted a small change and a small change I did. Nothing huge like buying another layout like I did before (I actually have a few layouts that I bought with real money from sellers on Etsy. I LOVE the layouts that sellers on Etsy make, by the way) but this one is aaall from here.
Except the buttons that link you to my various social media. That came with the super pretty actual bought layout and I kept them on here for people to go on while I'm gone. SPEAKING OF WHICH... be my friend on social media! Follow my Facebook (that I hardly go on... haha), follow my Tumblr, request to follow me on Instagram and Twitter! And everything else! I recently made Vimeo and 8tracks accounts and have been jumping into those lately as well!
Vimeo username is lilylove13 and 8tracks is lilliankate13 so get to following (only if you want to)! I found TONS of footage from when I was in Washington on my computer so I hope someone who is better at video editing and whatnot can get those spliced together and uploaded! And I LOVE making playlists for people and for myself, so I gave people lists of a billion playlists to put up online.
So I'm really not as much of a ghost as I thought I was going to be. Which makes me happy. And I have a fun feeling that this isn't the last weekend pass home I'll have. Which also makes me super happy. And as of today, the third, I've been doing this for a MONTH. One down, three to go! See y'all, it isn't that long of a wait at all!
Now: Off to Costco and then find all the things I wore today online.
xx
This blog just hit 1,000 page views! 1,002 to be specific!
Wow.
That's awesome.
1,002 people (probably including myself haha) have seen this thing.
You all are so awesome. I love you all. People probably don't go on here unless I make some janky post about it on my Tumblr (I see a lot of page views come from Tumblr ((by the way, I don't know at all exactly WHO is on it. It tells me by country who has been on it and what browser/device they're on and that's it. Nothing specific at all, I promise)) which is pretty correct in my mind) and whoever wants to see what I wore or read me talk about how hot I was last night (lol) does so.
And I'm not complaining. Please keep reading my blog!
And if anyone else has a blog, then comment and let me know! I would LOVE to read it! I don't even care if it's a journal blog that you're okay with sharing (and if it's private like my other word blog then I totally understand) or an *actual* fashion blog or a photography blog or whatever other blog! I love reading blogs and getting a sense of other people.
Plus.. I totally changed the layout of this thing a little bit. I wanted a small change and a small change I did. Nothing huge like buying another layout like I did before (I actually have a few layouts that I bought with real money from sellers on Etsy. I LOVE the layouts that sellers on Etsy make, by the way) but this one is aaall from here.
Except the buttons that link you to my various social media. That came with the super pretty actual bought layout and I kept them on here for people to go on while I'm gone. SPEAKING OF WHICH... be my friend on social media! Follow my Facebook (that I hardly go on... haha), follow my Tumblr, request to follow me on Instagram and Twitter! And everything else! I recently made Vimeo and 8tracks accounts and have been jumping into those lately as well!
Vimeo username is lilylove13 and 8tracks is lilliankate13 so get to following (only if you want to)! I found TONS of footage from when I was in Washington on my computer so I hope someone who is better at video editing and whatnot can get those spliced together and uploaded! And I LOVE making playlists for people and for myself, so I gave people lists of a billion playlists to put up online.
So I'm really not as much of a ghost as I thought I was going to be. Which makes me happy. And I have a fun feeling that this isn't the last weekend pass home I'll have. Which also makes me super happy. And as of today, the third, I've been doing this for a MONTH. One down, three to go! See y'all, it isn't that long of a wait at all!
Now: Off to Costco and then find all the things I wore today online.
xx
Because I'm extremely vain
Cranking out these "What I Wore" posts like it's no one's business. But it's FUN. So I don't care. I should probably post other things too. Like you know... what I've been doing for the last month. But that's boring. But probably because it's my day to day life and no one really knows unless I email with them. Who knows.
Anyway, I went on a date tonight.
And it was actually okay. Like, I knew what to talk about and I wasn't stumbling over my words like I usually would in a situation like that.
Basically... it wasn't a struggle bus scenario, and I'm happy about that.
Also I looked really hot. Again, that's confidence and not me being cocky. Although I do admit that I can be vain sometimes. Idk. But I love what I wore.
I went out with a guy who is friends with one of my friends, who happens to be living at my house with my OTHER friend while I'm gone. She talks about him a lot and suggested we hang out on a day or night that I'm home, and tonight lined up well, since apparently we were both free. But it was fun. We went out to a restaurant that I've been to only once before (ironically I was there the first time on a date as well) and we enjoyed ourselves.
But by no means do I like him or anything. He's okay, but he's not really the type I'd go for. Even though he is a dog person. It was honestly one of the first things I asked him. Dog people are so important to me because cat people are not my people.
Here's what I wore.
--
Basically I looked like a million bucks and I felt like a million bucks. It was the first time in a very long time that I got to dress up and actually feel good about myself. You know... body wise, if that makes sense to people who may not know things about me. Honestly... I felt hot. I felt really freaking good about myself and I'm so flipping happy because of that. I've clawed and fought my way to where I am now and I'm so glad that this is the result.
I'm glad that I can wear things and actually feel 100% okay with myself. And no, I'm not where I want to be (goal wise), but I'm getting there. Self love is definitely NOT just something that happens overnight. It's going on THREE YEARS to get here. And yes, it's taken others a lot longer. And others a shorter time frame. Everyone is different. And that's why I try my hardest to not compare myself to others. No person's recovery is the same. My recovery and my friend Brittany's* recovery is not the same.
Anyway, the bottom line is is that I looked hot tonight and self love is a great thing.
Dress: $19.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find it here.
Tights: $7.90 at Forever 21. Find them here.
Shoes: $35.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find them here.
Necklace: $24.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Earrings: $3.90 at Forever 21. Find them here.
Bag: $18.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find it here.
xx
* = name has been changed.
Anyway, I went on a date tonight.
And it was actually okay. Like, I knew what to talk about and I wasn't stumbling over my words like I usually would in a situation like that.
Basically... it wasn't a struggle bus scenario, and I'm happy about that.
Also I looked really hot. Again, that's confidence and not me being cocky. Although I do admit that I can be vain sometimes. Idk. But I love what I wore.
I went out with a guy who is friends with one of my friends, who happens to be living at my house with my OTHER friend while I'm gone. She talks about him a lot and suggested we hang out on a day or night that I'm home, and tonight lined up well, since apparently we were both free. But it was fun. We went out to a restaurant that I've been to only once before (ironically I was there the first time on a date as well) and we enjoyed ourselves.
But by no means do I like him or anything. He's okay, but he's not really the type I'd go for. Even though he is a dog person. It was honestly one of the first things I asked him. Dog people are so important to me because cat people are not my people.
Here's what I wore.
--
Basically I looked like a million bucks and I felt like a million bucks. It was the first time in a very long time that I got to dress up and actually feel good about myself. You know... body wise, if that makes sense to people who may not know things about me. Honestly... I felt hot. I felt really freaking good about myself and I'm so flipping happy because of that. I've clawed and fought my way to where I am now and I'm so glad that this is the result.
I'm glad that I can wear things and actually feel 100% okay with myself. And no, I'm not where I want to be (goal wise), but I'm getting there. Self love is definitely NOT just something that happens overnight. It's going on THREE YEARS to get here. And yes, it's taken others a lot longer. And others a shorter time frame. Everyone is different. And that's why I try my hardest to not compare myself to others. No person's recovery is the same. My recovery and my friend Brittany's* recovery is not the same.
Anyway, the bottom line is is that I looked hot tonight and self love is a great thing.
Dress: $19.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find it here.
Tights: $7.90 at Forever 21. Find them here.
Shoes: $35.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find them here.
Necklace: $24.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Earrings: $3.90 at Forever 21. Find them here.
Bag: $18.99 at Charlotte Russe. Find it here.
xx
* = name has been changed.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Remember when I said I was going to be blogging up a storm?
Well look at what I'm wearing today.
There WILL be another episode of "What I Wore Today" because tonight... I'm going out.
With a guy.
Who isn't a cute nerd missionary.
Whaaaat.
Life is weird.
And confusing.
But at least today doesn't suck ass. (:
The positives in life.
Here's what I'm wearing on this afternoon!
--
Cute shizz, no? I love that skirt. One time I wore it two days in a row and no one even said anything. So that was cool. We aren't even going to talk about how great that necklace is. Haha!
Shirt: $15.99 but on sale for $10 at Charlotte Russe. Find it here.
Skirt: $34.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Shoes: $24.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Necklace: I got it on Etsy and I can't remember how much it was. I want to think it was over $100 but under $130. Sorry about that.
Bracelet: $14.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Bracelet: $24.99 at ModCloth. Find it here. *it says 'I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then'.
Bracelet: $19.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Hand chain: $12.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Ring: $19.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Earrings: $12.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Well look at what I'm wearing today.
There WILL be another episode of "What I Wore Today" because tonight... I'm going out.
With a guy.
Who isn't a cute nerd missionary.
Whaaaat.
Life is weird.
And confusing.
But at least today doesn't suck ass. (:
The positives in life.
Here's what I'm wearing on this afternoon!
--
Cute shizz, no? I love that skirt. One time I wore it two days in a row and no one even said anything. So that was cool. We aren't even going to talk about how great that necklace is. Haha!
Shirt: $15.99 but on sale for $10 at Charlotte Russe. Find it here.
Skirt: $34.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Shoes: $24.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Necklace: I got it on Etsy and I can't remember how much it was. I want to think it was over $100 but under $130. Sorry about that.
Bracelet: $14.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Bracelet: $24.99 at ModCloth. Find it here. *it says 'I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then'.
Bracelet: $19.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Hand chain: $12.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Ring: $19.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Earrings: $12.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
What I Wore... Friday
Because consistency is awesome.
And because today sucked a lot of ass.
But you know what?
I didn't look like today sucked ass.
Because I looked adorable.
Here's what I wore today!
Shirt: $34.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Skirt: $59.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Tights: $7.80 at Forever21. Find them (also in other colors) here.
Shoes*: SOLD OUT but $54.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Necklace**: $55.50 at Belk. Find it here.
Bracelets: $5.90 at Forever 21. Find them here (also available in silver).
--
I totally missed writing what I wore. It's so much fun. And who cares if people don't read this. I like it.
* = I LOVE THESE SHOES. I love them I love them I love them.
** = If know know what ladybugs and flowers signifies to me then I love you. I wore that necklace on purpose.
And because today sucked a lot of ass.
But you know what?
I didn't look like today sucked ass.
Because I looked adorable.
Here's what I wore today!
Shirt: $34.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Skirt: $59.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Tights: $7.80 at Forever21. Find them (also in other colors) here.
Shoes*: SOLD OUT but $54.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Necklace**: $55.50 at Belk. Find it here.
Bracelets: $5.90 at Forever 21. Find them here (also available in silver).
--
I totally missed writing what I wore. It's so much fun. And who cares if people don't read this. I like it.
* = I LOVE THESE SHOES. I love them I love them I love them.
** = If know know what ladybugs and flowers signifies to me then I love you. I wore that necklace on purpose.
Friday, May 1, 2015
Hey.
It's-a-me.
Weekend passes to go home are a lot of fun, honestly. Friday (late) afternoon to Monday morning or so? Don't mind if I do. Also, I totally plan on posting every day (including later today) what I wore on that day. Even though it isn't Wednesday. I need to keep at least a little familiarity on here. Because what's the point if people don't even read this.
Anyway.
Friday.
Today.
May 1st.
Definitely not a lot of fun.
If you know me,and many may know me but many may not know what happened, you'll know that something extremely significant, personal, and devastating happened a year ago today. And at the time, I sort of half assed things and said a little what happened on my Tumblr. Looking back, I wish I hadn't done that. I wish I could take a few things that I did when I was dealing with that back.
I'm not going to say what happened. If you know me really well (or happened to see a half assed Tumblr answer), you'll know what happened. And I cannot thank you enough for keeping it between us, because it isn't something that needs to be told. An ex friend of mine apparently told one of her friends and that's something that I've resented her for to this day. There are some things you respect people enough to not throw to the world. This is one of those things.
Anyway, life hasn't been the same since. There hasn't been a day where I haven't cried my heart out still, and that's okay. I know that that's okay. I don't need to be 100% healed a year later and I'm not and that's okay too. It's okay to not be okay. Usually all I want to do is celebrate good milestones (I'm 1,000 days self harm free on June 23rd, fun fact. I'll be three years self harm free on September 26th, another fun fact), but here's a sad milestone. There's a massive pain in my heart. And I've come to terms with it. It's always going to be there. And it's a pain that you truly can't understand unless you've been through it.
When there's good, there's also bad.
Life since May 1st, 2014 hasn't been easy at all. By any means. It went totally downhill then, there was a small uphill that was sent careening down into a fire-y inferno, and yet it's all back uphill. Actually, life since about.. September or so has been a total 180 from what it was, and I'm so thankful and grateful for my support group of friends and a few of my family members (my relationship with my dad is completely non existent and we aren't trying to mend things and we probably never will. I feel like we've both accepted that).
Because I thought one day:
I'm going to stop living the past. Yes, the past happened and it sucked so bad, but it's only going to suck more if you keep living like you are. Yeah, your life sucks. Get up, move forward, and do something about it. You don't want your life to suck forever.
// sidenote, I just sprayed my Bath & Body Works perfume on the back of my shirt instead of the front of my shirt. Haha. Well at least my back is going to smell good! What can you do!
And that's what people need to do. Stop feeling sorry for themselves and do something about it. It's a sucky feeling, but only you can help yourself. Stop waiting around for people to help you up because that's not going to help you. Yes, people can be there to support you but you need to pick yourself up. YOU. These are your problems, not anyone else's.
And I had and still have to keep that little lecture in the back of my head when I'm having an off day about anything in general. Sort of like this day. It's okay to be sad and cry, of course. In my situation, I cry about it every day. But I can keep a happy face at the end of the day. Because I know that the other person in this situation would want me to be happy. I made the other person the happiest person ever. And I have nothing but happy and amazing and hilarious memories. I have no bad memories with that person at all whatsoever.
Milestones are usually really fun.
Some aren't.
So today, I'm going to drink some coffee, look at pictures, watch some videos, and talk with the people who mean the most to me. Then I'm going to journal, read over some old emails between me and a super adorable missionary (he's the coolest, just so everyone knows), and then maybe read.
What do you do when you have a bad milestone date day? I'd love to learn some fun coping methods.
I love you all.
x
It's-a-me.
Weekend passes to go home are a lot of fun, honestly. Friday (late) afternoon to Monday morning or so? Don't mind if I do. Also, I totally plan on posting every day (including later today) what I wore on that day. Even though it isn't Wednesday. I need to keep at least a little familiarity on here. Because what's the point if people don't even read this.
Anyway.
Friday.
Today.
May 1st.
Definitely not a lot of fun.
If you know me,
I'm not going to say what happened. If you know me really well (or happened to see a half assed Tumblr answer), you'll know what happened. And I cannot thank you enough for keeping it between us, because it isn't something that needs to be told. An ex friend of mine apparently told one of her friends and that's something that I've resented her for to this day. There are some things you respect people enough to not throw to the world. This is one of those things.
Anyway, life hasn't been the same since. There hasn't been a day where I haven't cried my heart out still, and that's okay. I know that that's okay. I don't need to be 100% healed a year later and I'm not and that's okay too. It's okay to not be okay. Usually all I want to do is celebrate good milestones (I'm 1,000 days self harm free on June 23rd, fun fact. I'll be three years self harm free on September 26th, another fun fact), but here's a sad milestone. There's a massive pain in my heart. And I've come to terms with it. It's always going to be there. And it's a pain that you truly can't understand unless you've been through it.
When there's good, there's also bad.
Life since May 1st, 2014 hasn't been easy at all. By any means. It went totally downhill then, there was a small uphill that was sent careening down into a fire-y inferno, and yet it's all back uphill. Actually, life since about.. September or so has been a total 180 from what it was, and I'm so thankful and grateful for my support group of friends and a few of my family members (my relationship with my dad is completely non existent and we aren't trying to mend things and we probably never will. I feel like we've both accepted that).
Because I thought one day:
I'm going to stop living the past. Yes, the past happened and it sucked so bad, but it's only going to suck more if you keep living like you are. Yeah, your life sucks. Get up, move forward, and do something about it. You don't want your life to suck forever.
// sidenote, I just sprayed my Bath & Body Works perfume on the back of my shirt instead of the front of my shirt. Haha. Well at least my back is going to smell good! What can you do!
And that's what people need to do. Stop feeling sorry for themselves and do something about it. It's a sucky feeling, but only you can help yourself. Stop waiting around for people to help you up because that's not going to help you. Yes, people can be there to support you but you need to pick yourself up. YOU. These are your problems, not anyone else's.
And I had and still have to keep that little lecture in the back of my head when I'm having an off day about anything in general. Sort of like this day. It's okay to be sad and cry, of course. In my situation, I cry about it every day. But I can keep a happy face at the end of the day. Because I know that the other person in this situation would want me to be happy. I made the other person the happiest person ever. And I have nothing but happy and amazing and hilarious memories. I have no bad memories with that person at all whatsoever.
Milestones are usually really fun.
Some aren't.
So today, I'm going to drink some coffee, look at pictures, watch some videos, and talk with the people who mean the most to me. Then I'm going to journal, read over some old emails between me and a super adorable missionary (he's the coolest, just so everyone knows), and then maybe read.
What do you do when you have a bad milestone date day? I'd love to learn some fun coping methods.
I love you all.
x
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