Whenever I say I'm going to make a blog post, I never do.
When I don't say I'm going to make a blog post, I do.
Whoa.
So crazy.
--
Tuesday, the 23rd, was day 1000 of me being self harm free. No longer do I take a razor blade and press it into the skin of my wrists, thighs, stomach, or shoulders. No longer do I take something hot, like a lighter, candle, oven racks, burners, or hot pans, and touch them to my skin to burn me. I would add in that I no longer pull out my own hair and eat it*, but I do still pull my hair out at times. A few months ago I did have to get my hair cut because of it. But I've cut back significantly.
I used to do all that, though.
I used to do it all a lot.
But all things considered, I don't anymore.
For 1000 extremely tough days, I haven't done any of it (save for hair pulling.. but I sort of don't consider it "self harm"**).
And I'm proud of myself.
Tuesday was a good day. It started off pretty normally as normal as a day is around here. One of the girls gave me a balloon and I still have it and it makes me happy. A lot of things have happened in those 1000 days. Not everything in those days has been good. In fact, there's a lot of bad things that has happened between then and now.
Extremely personal things that I'll probably never discuss publicly on here, and that I'm more comfortable talking about it privately. So if you want to know some of my dirty laundry, if you will, shoot me an email and we can talk.
But a lot of good things have happened too.
And I think that's why I never gave up. But oh my gosh, how I wanted to. And oh my gosh, how I attempted to. I'm okay with throwing to the world that I attempted not once, not twice, but three times to take my life. I have. And (as maybe you might be able to tell) none of the attempts worked. At the time, I was so pissed off and angry that "I wasn't doing it right" or that "something was going wrong".
In a way, the latter part of that is true. Something was wrong.
I was ignoring the fact that I needed to still be here. I need to be here still. Apparently I didn't know at the time that there's a big whole world out there that I need to see and discover. And I know that was Heavenly Father telling me that. I know it.
I haven't attempted to take my life since September 5th, 2012. I haven't intentionally hurt myself since September 26th, 2012. Just over 1000 days ago. And almost three years.
I love my life now. I love my family***. I love my friends. Sure, I would never expect me to be here right where I am right now, but I'm not where I was last year. I was homeless almost a year ago. I literally had to sleep in a park in July because I didn't have anywhere to go.
I could have given up. But I pushed through. And sometimes you have to push through a lot of crap. Some people have more crap than others, and that's okay. Keep pushing through it. The view is pretty cool. I promise.
I don't give up anymore. If I want something, I'm going to fight tooth and claw for it. No one is the person they were a year ago, and I love who I am now over who I was a year ago. My "character development", if you will, impresses me. I look back on the things I was doing last year and I'm so happy I am where I am.
1000 days.
I didn't just kill it. I'm still killing it.
Let's go another 1000 days.
And then look back on this post in two and a half years.
I love you.
* = Trichotillomania is a real thing. Educate yourself. Link here. It doesn't talk about hair eating, but the term for hair eating is Trichophagia. Link about that is here. Trich is a super personal and generally a private thing for people because it's pretty embarrassing. But I'm glad people are starting to learn more about it.
** = I don't think of Trich as being "self harm" although some people may disagree. Trich is a disorder, yes, that can harm you, but I personally (AKA my opinion, man) wouldn't say it's self harm. Even though it does harm you. Agree to disagree.
*** = I love the family who loves me. Some people are not your family just because they live with you and share the same last name with them.
Friday Night Musings: 1000
Saturday, June 20, 2015
We've been growing corn lately. Actually not lately, it's been awhile since we planted it but they're getting bigger, which I love seeing. We do little chores and such each day, and watering the plans is probably my most favorite part. We have three boxes (I'll post a picture) of plants, and we have to water each one for fifteen minutes every morning.
The hose we have has an attachment that makes it look just like a sprinkler, that way it reaches all the way around the container thing. Then once we're done, we have to water all the ones that are in pots, both ones on ground and in the hanging pots. It's honestly a lot of fun. And yes, we have another hose attachment that looks sort of like a mini shower head.
We (and I mean "we" by Paige and myself, since we're the only ones who room/live together now, since the other girl who was with us either moved out or left, but it's just me and Paige together now) also got to take care of a bunny rabbit for a couple days, and holy wow was that the best. I think the rabbit was just named Rabbit, but he was so sweet and well behaved.
When I was little, we (AKA me and my family) had to take care of two rabbits for two weeks, and by the end of the ordeal, my mom said that we could never get a rabbit because all they did was stink. I've always kept that in the back of my head, and my mom was right. We never did get a rabbit. But this one was so different. Basically in the way that he was sweet and well behaved, yes, but he. did. not. stink. Like... at all. I smelled nothing bad.
The only thing of him that I smelled was his food pellets and his hay that he liked to A) munch on, B) poop on, and C) sleep on. He's quite the interesting rabbit and did NOT ONCE sleep in his hutch that was brought with him. And we were told that ahead of time. He usually enjoyed lounging under his hutch, in the hay, or on the little bed that was also brought with him.
He didn't like us petting him at first, but he warmed up to me. And by Wednesday afternoon, when I would come out from the bathroom if I was at "home", he would follow me! And he would play around with my saggy pant bottoms. It was honestly the cutest thing. Late Wednesday night/early Thursday afternoon when I was trying to go back to bed from the bathroom, he did the same dang thing in the dark!
Silly wabbit. (:
I was so sad when we had to give him up. He was something of a therapy-like animal who was being tested out on some of us girls and Tuesday-Thursday were our days with him. I actually cried when we had to give him back. And I'm still sad. Honestly, I don't even know why. He was really sweet and didn't stink. I hope I get around to posting a picture of him because wow was he so cute. I'm glad I have at least pictures and some videos.
He LOVED the pellet food, so what I did was put some in my hand and he actually ate them from my hand! Don't worry mom, I washed my hands and used hand sanitizer afterwards just in case!
Here's our corn. Isn't it so cute? I messed around with an editing app so it's a little filtered, but just to make our sprouts pop a little more against the dark soil. I'm so proud of it. It most likely won't be fully grown when I leave, but the fact that I've been keeping it alive is what matters to me most.
Here's our sweet rabbit friend. I miss him dearly. He just did the cutest stuff and made me so happy. I love animals almost more than anything, and I hate having to see an animal leave. He's okay and everything, but like I mentioned, our time with him was up and it was someone else's turn.
Bath & Body Works is having the SAS (semi annual sale) currently, and I made my friends haul butt and get me pretty much everything I wanted and then some. We got to be in town for a little bit today and I was able to run home, pick up my boxes, and go back. Along with a quick "hey" to my friend who is currently living in my house.
So I just now took pictures of all that I got. I'm not able to make them into a collage with an app, so you're just going to have to deal with an overload of pictures. I have no collage maker thing readily available to me right now. Oh well.
Also you'll obviously see how I use my scents. I don't use the lotions. I prefer the body cream/perfume (fine fragrance mist) layers over lotion/perfume. The body cream is just thicker and is better for me personally than the lotion. Although I do have a few lotions, I never use them unless I have to. I don't know if I have a favorite scent, but I really do like the Country Apple scent.
In fact, I'm wearing it right now.
That bring my collection to.... well, more than needed, probably, but at least this has me well stocked until the Fall scents come out at the next SAS in December.
Hope everyone stuck around for this. It's a long post.
xx
The hose we have has an attachment that makes it look just like a sprinkler, that way it reaches all the way around the container thing. Then once we're done, we have to water all the ones that are in pots, both ones on ground and in the hanging pots. It's honestly a lot of fun. And yes, we have another hose attachment that looks sort of like a mini shower head.
We (and I mean "we" by Paige and myself, since we're the only ones who room/live together now, since the other girl who was with us either moved out or left, but it's just me and Paige together now) also got to take care of a bunny rabbit for a couple days, and holy wow was that the best. I think the rabbit was just named Rabbit, but he was so sweet and well behaved.
When I was little, we (AKA me and my family) had to take care of two rabbits for two weeks, and by the end of the ordeal, my mom said that we could never get a rabbit because all they did was stink. I've always kept that in the back of my head, and my mom was right. We never did get a rabbit. But this one was so different. Basically in the way that he was sweet and well behaved, yes, but he. did. not. stink. Like... at all. I smelled nothing bad.
The only thing of him that I smelled was his food pellets and his hay that he liked to A) munch on, B) poop on, and C) sleep on. He's quite the interesting rabbit and did NOT ONCE sleep in his hutch that was brought with him. And we were told that ahead of time. He usually enjoyed lounging under his hutch, in the hay, or on the little bed that was also brought with him.
He didn't like us petting him at first, but he warmed up to me. And by Wednesday afternoon, when I would come out from the bathroom if I was at "home", he would follow me! And he would play around with my saggy pant bottoms. It was honestly the cutest thing. Late Wednesday night/early Thursday afternoon when I was trying to go back to bed from the bathroom, he did the same dang thing in the dark!
Silly wabbit. (:
I was so sad when we had to give him up. He was something of a therapy-like animal who was being tested out on some of us girls and Tuesday-Thursday were our days with him. I actually cried when we had to give him back. And I'm still sad. Honestly, I don't even know why. He was really sweet and didn't stink. I hope I get around to posting a picture of him because wow was he so cute. I'm glad I have at least pictures and some videos.
He LOVED the pellet food, so what I did was put some in my hand and he actually ate them from my hand! Don't worry mom, I washed my hands and used hand sanitizer afterwards just in case!
Here's our corn. Isn't it so cute? I messed around with an editing app so it's a little filtered, but just to make our sprouts pop a little more against the dark soil. I'm so proud of it. It most likely won't be fully grown when I leave, but the fact that I've been keeping it alive is what matters to me most.
Here's our sweet rabbit friend. I miss him dearly. He just did the cutest stuff and made me so happy. I love animals almost more than anything, and I hate having to see an animal leave. He's okay and everything, but like I mentioned, our time with him was up and it was someone else's turn.
Bath & Body Works is having the SAS (semi annual sale) currently, and I made my friends haul butt and get me pretty much everything I wanted and then some. We got to be in town for a little bit today and I was able to run home, pick up my boxes, and go back. Along with a quick "hey" to my friend who is currently living in my house.
So I just now took pictures of all that I got. I'm not able to make them into a collage with an app, so you're just going to have to deal with an overload of pictures. I have no collage maker thing readily available to me right now. Oh well.
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| Japanese Cherry Blossom shower gel x2 plus bubble bath, and Twilight Woods bubble bath. |
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| Japanese Cherry Blossom shower scrub. I've been needing to buy a shower scrub for FOREVER and just got around to asking for someone to order me one. Can't wait to try it out! |
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| French Lavender & Honey. I like this scent. It's super subtle. I don't smell the honey, but I do smell the lavender for sure. It's not strong, but it would be a killer combo with the lavender and vanilla aromatherapy line! |
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| Dark Kiss shower gel. Enough said, really. I'm not sure if I'll end up liking this, even though I like the body cream and the perfume of this. We'll see! |
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| They brought back a few scents from their original line, and this is one of them. I never tried this one, but the fact that I LOVE apple scents, this made me excited to try it. And I really do like it! It's not overpowering and the apple scent is really evident. |
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| Velvet Sugar was right out of left field. It was an impulse buy and I didn't think I was going to like it. But after smelling it, I think it'll be one I would wear for special occasions, like some event or a date or something. It's nice. And I like the packaging! |
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| I think everyone knows the infamous Cucumber Melon scent. I believe they still sell it online, but not in the new packaging. I LOVE the packaging on this. Nothing else to say except it's a classic and it'll take you right back to the good ol' days. |
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| Be Enchanted - I only got because I liked the name, honestly. I don't hate it but I'm not wild about it, either. It's a toss up, so we'll see! |
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| Ditto for Secret Wonderland. But if I had to pick one over the other, I'd pick Be Enchanted. But again, we'll see! |
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| Sheer Cotton & Lemonade. Part of their Southern Collection. I really wanted the Georgia Peach & Sweet Tea, but I didn't really know. This is a cute scent. I don't know if it's me or what, but I can't really smell the lemon part of it. But I would wear this regularly, and I think I will. I like it. |
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| Forever Red. There's a reason why this scent is more spendy than the other ones. It's a sensual scent, but not overpowering. At least not to me. It smells better when you have it in your possession than in the stores. Definitely a "date night" scent. |
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| I took another picture to show what the perfume looks like with the cap off. |
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| I had to get this because duh. If anyone knows me, they'll know that unlike girls who *wish* they were mermaids, that I actually AM a mermaid. So it only made sense that I add this to my purchase. |
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| It came with travel sized lotion, shower gel, and perfume of the Endless Weekend scent, and a mini hand sanitizer of the Turquoise Waters scent. Super cute! |
Also you'll obviously see how I use my scents. I don't use the lotions. I prefer the body cream/perfume (fine fragrance mist) layers over lotion/perfume. The body cream is just thicker and is better for me personally than the lotion. Although I do have a few lotions, I never use them unless I have to. I don't know if I have a favorite scent, but I really do like the Country Apple scent.
In fact, I'm wearing it right now.
That bring my collection to.... well, more than needed, probably, but at least this has me well stocked until the Fall scents come out at the next SAS in December.
Hope everyone stuck around for this. It's a long post.
xx
Saturday, June 13, 2015
June 13th is a personal day for me.
Three years ago today, on June 13th 2012, I was in the hospital because I weighed 86 pounds. Back then I had a lot of issues with my eating and it spiraled out of control to the point where I couldn't really stop it if I wanted to. Back then though, I don't think I did want to stop it. I was going through a really rough time.
I remember not caring about what was happening to me. I didn't want to be there.
I'm being brief about everything mostly because things are either too personal for me to talk about on here at this moment, and also because I'm a little bit busy but at the same time I want to get this out while it's still June 13th.
I was in the hospital weighing 86 pounds in 2012.
I graduated high school two years ago in 2013. At that time, it was my greatest accomplishment. I didn't think I was going to be alive to see that. I tried to take my life a few times in that school year, each of those tries were fails. Looking back, I can't express how grateful I am that they didn't work.
Senior year was when a lot of problematic crap happened, including many surgeries. I always ask people "what were you doing on Thanksgiving 2012?" and I always get the generic answer from people if they celebrate that holiday. They were with family, eating good food, watching TV, watching football, etc.
I was having open heart surgery.
But I graduated high school. I was able to graduate high school.
I think the only reason why I was even able to graduate on time was because I was taking college classes at the same time over at the local community college. I want to say that one college class is the same as three high school credits, so it worked well for me in that way. I mean, it got me to graduation.
//yay//
2014 sucked. Well, up until May of that year. It only got better in September. I credit three very specific people that made it better. One knows who she is, but I don't think the other two are aware. One of which I don't even talk to anymore, but I hope one of these days, I'll get to tell the other one. Because I do still talk to that one.
Today, I'm in a way better place. I don't weigh 86 pounds, but I do still struggle with my weight and eating issues. But I'm getting better. I'm not where I was a year ago, and that's a good thing. I don't think anyone should be in the same "place" they were a year ago. Because wouldn't that be boring?
I'm happy. In fact, I'm the happiest I've ever been (if you don't count the months between November 2013 and May 2014). I have the BEST people in my life. I'm grateful for them. And in a way, I'm grateful for the people who aren't in my life anymore. Whether they walked out of my life or I walked out of theirs. There's a clear reason why we aren't in each other's lives anymore. I made 2015 the year about me. MY happiness and MY feelings are before anyone's. And it's funny, when I made that my mantra for this year, I've done a lot more breaking up with friends and it's left me more happy.
Hmm. Interesting.
It's left me with the people I truly love. Everyone who is in my life, I'm in love with.
This year is halfway over, and this has been such an amazing six months! 2015 is the best year I've had in a long time. I'm not saying that to jinx the second half, I'm saying that because this has truly been the best first half of a year ever. Everyone goes into a new year thinking "oh wow, this year is going to be awesome!" and sometimes that doesn't go over too well.
I didn't think that going into this year. I went into this year with the "okay 2015, what's up" and it's been great. This year has been awesome. Well, at least the first half was!
I have no real point to this except to talk about June 13th. Lots of ups and downs. But it's brought me to here, and I like where I am. Plus um.. that super cute stud of a missionary I sometimes talk about has been on his mission for eight months as of today.
Yet another reason to have June 13th be a thing.
Love you all. Happy Saturday.
Three years ago today, on June 13th 2012, I was in the hospital because I weighed 86 pounds. Back then I had a lot of issues with my eating and it spiraled out of control to the point where I couldn't really stop it if I wanted to. Back then though, I don't think I did want to stop it. I was going through a really rough time.
I remember not caring about what was happening to me. I didn't want to be there.
I'm being brief about everything mostly because things are either too personal for me to talk about on here at this moment, and also because I'm a little bit busy but at the same time I want to get this out while it's still June 13th.
I was in the hospital weighing 86 pounds in 2012.
I graduated high school two years ago in 2013. At that time, it was my greatest accomplishment. I didn't think I was going to be alive to see that. I tried to take my life a few times in that school year, each of those tries were fails. Looking back, I can't express how grateful I am that they didn't work.
Senior year was when a lot of problematic crap happened, including many surgeries. I always ask people "what were you doing on Thanksgiving 2012?" and I always get the generic answer from people if they celebrate that holiday. They were with family, eating good food, watching TV, watching football, etc.
I was having open heart surgery.
But I graduated high school. I was able to graduate high school.
I think the only reason why I was even able to graduate on time was because I was taking college classes at the same time over at the local community college. I want to say that one college class is the same as three high school credits, so it worked well for me in that way. I mean, it got me to graduation.
//yay//
2014 sucked. Well, up until May of that year. It only got better in September. I credit three very specific people that made it better. One knows who she is, but I don't think the other two are aware. One of which I don't even talk to anymore, but I hope one of these days, I'll get to tell the other one. Because I do still talk to that one.
Today, I'm in a way better place. I don't weigh 86 pounds, but I do still struggle with my weight and eating issues. But I'm getting better. I'm not where I was a year ago, and that's a good thing. I don't think anyone should be in the same "place" they were a year ago. Because wouldn't that be boring?
I'm happy. In fact, I'm the happiest I've ever been (if you don't count the months between November 2013 and May 2014). I have the BEST people in my life. I'm grateful for them. And in a way, I'm grateful for the people who aren't in my life anymore. Whether they walked out of my life or I walked out of theirs. There's a clear reason why we aren't in each other's lives anymore. I made 2015 the year about me. MY happiness and MY feelings are before anyone's. And it's funny, when I made that my mantra for this year, I've done a lot more breaking up with friends and it's left me more happy.
Hmm. Interesting.
It's left me with the people I truly love. Everyone who is in my life, I'm in love with.
This year is halfway over, and this has been such an amazing six months! 2015 is the best year I've had in a long time. I'm not saying that to jinx the second half, I'm saying that because this has truly been the best first half of a year ever. Everyone goes into a new year thinking "oh wow, this year is going to be awesome!" and sometimes that doesn't go over too well.
I didn't think that going into this year. I went into this year with the "okay 2015, what's up" and it's been great. This year has been awesome. Well, at least the first half was!
I have no real point to this except to talk about June 13th. Lots of ups and downs. But it's brought me to here, and I like where I am. Plus um.. that super cute stud of a missionary I sometimes talk about has been on his mission for eight months as of today.
Yet another reason to have June 13th be a thing.
Love you all. Happy Saturday.
Friday Night Musings
Is that going to be the new thing I do on Fridays?
Well... it might. I like the sound of it. I also like Friday Night Thoughts, but that name sounds too original. When you muse, it's sort of like the same thing. So I chose that. Hopefully this'll go well. I don't know.
But I'm here to talk about random, general things. Things that I've been doing lately, and other stuff.
Here goes absolutely nothing.
リリアンケイト
That's my name. In kanji. Lillian Kate.
It's something that I'm working on. Kanji, that is. And it's not something that I'm working on for the sole fact that I have heart eyes over someone who is currently serving an LDS mission in Japan.
Okay.... it might be part of the reason why.
//struggles//
But also because I've been wanting to learn something new. I always want to be busy. I always want to learn something new that is completely familiar to someone else. Languages being a popular choice.
So here I am, dedicating a lot (not all) of my free time to learning kanji.
こんにちは
That means "hello". Konnichiwa.
Cool story, bro.
I don't know how to write "cool story bro" in kanji. Maybe I'll learn how.
戦士
That's "warrior". It's also the name of my Tumblr blog. Because I'm super rad.
I have a friend who is serving a mission speaking Polish. That's some stuff. I love traveling, especially to different language speaking countries. I loved going to France mostly because I knew I had a small grasp on the general things. Later on in the year if things go the way I'd like, I'm going back to France, but also to Italy, Spain, and Romania.
And I want to come back knowing at least a little Italian and Romanian. I took Spanish in high school so I already have a good understanding of it. But by no means am I fluent.
The new Muse album came out this week and I've been freaking my lid.
Is that a term? Well, it is now.
Basically I've been feeling a lot like this.
The first single from the album was Psycho, and while I liked it, I preferred Dead Inside a lot more to it. Then Mercy came out. It was also really good, but it wasn't really my cup of tea. When the entire album came out, I had quite a few songs of it already via my pre order on iTunes.
My favorites from the first day were Dead Inside (still), Defector, and Revolt.
Now I'm more into Aftermath and Reapers.
Idk. It all just makes me want to destroy government property.
Or ya know... pull a Matt Bellamy (the lead singer/guitarist) and throw my instrument into a drum kit live in concert.
Whichever.
I went canoeing this week and it was very serene and tranquil. I enjoyed it a heck of a lot more than white water rafting. Then we went swimming. Also quite the enjoyment. I loved channeling my inner mermaid. Since of course... I AM a mermaid.
We got a Beta fish! He lives in the living room and my friend Paige and I got to name him. While we didn't mutually agree on his last name, his first name is Ed. No one really gets real into naming fish like we do.
#actualgangsters
Bath is currently having their Semi Annual Sale, and while I can't be there in person, I've enlisted the help of my friends to buy some crap for me, so I'm going to have some new scents to play around with. That'll be nice. I know some girls here who also like the scents, so it's always nice to give our opinion on them.
I hate getting scents online if I don't know what they smell like. But nine times out of ten, I end up liking them. That 1% is the Pink Chiffon scent. I'm not a fan of it. I know it's a floral scent, but I don't like it. Until I read the back, I always thought it smelled like gummy candy. AND I FREAKING WORKED THERE AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.
Yay me.
But I generally ALWAYS go for floral and musky scents. I have to grab a few more things and then I think my collection will be complete!
Life is alright right now.
I'm enjoying it.
Do I enjoy Friday Night Musings?
We'll see.
Well... it might. I like the sound of it. I also like Friday Night Thoughts, but that name sounds too original. When you muse, it's sort of like the same thing. So I chose that. Hopefully this'll go well. I don't know.
But I'm here to talk about random, general things. Things that I've been doing lately, and other stuff.
Here goes absolutely nothing.
リリアンケイト
That's my name. In kanji. Lillian Kate.
It's something that I'm working on. Kanji, that is. And it's not something that I'm working on for the sole fact that I have heart eyes over someone who is currently serving an LDS mission in Japan.
Okay.... it might be part of the reason why.
//struggles//
But also because I've been wanting to learn something new. I always want to be busy. I always want to learn something new that is completely familiar to someone else. Languages being a popular choice.
So here I am, dedicating a lot (not all) of my free time to learning kanji.
こんにちは
That means "hello". Konnichiwa.
Cool story, bro.
I don't know how to write "cool story bro" in kanji. Maybe I'll learn how.
戦士
That's "warrior". It's also the name of my Tumblr blog. Because I'm super rad.
I have a friend who is serving a mission speaking Polish. That's some stuff. I love traveling, especially to different language speaking countries. I loved going to France mostly because I knew I had a small grasp on the general things. Later on in the year if things go the way I'd like, I'm going back to France, but also to Italy, Spain, and Romania.
And I want to come back knowing at least a little Italian and Romanian. I took Spanish in high school so I already have a good understanding of it. But by no means am I fluent.
The new Muse album came out this week and I've been freaking my lid.
Is that a term? Well, it is now.
Basically I've been feeling a lot like this.
The first single from the album was Psycho, and while I liked it, I preferred Dead Inside a lot more to it. Then Mercy came out. It was also really good, but it wasn't really my cup of tea. When the entire album came out, I had quite a few songs of it already via my pre order on iTunes.
My favorites from the first day were Dead Inside (still), Defector, and Revolt.
Now I'm more into Aftermath and Reapers.
Idk. It all just makes me want to destroy government property.
Or ya know... pull a Matt Bellamy (the lead singer/guitarist) and throw my instrument into a drum kit live in concert.
Whichever.
I went canoeing this week and it was very serene and tranquil. I enjoyed it a heck of a lot more than white water rafting. Then we went swimming. Also quite the enjoyment. I loved channeling my inner mermaid. Since of course... I AM a mermaid.
We got a Beta fish! He lives in the living room and my friend Paige and I got to name him. While we didn't mutually agree on his last name, his first name is Ed. No one really gets real into naming fish like we do.
#actualgangsters
Bath is currently having their Semi Annual Sale, and while I can't be there in person, I've enlisted the help of my friends to buy some crap for me, so I'm going to have some new scents to play around with. That'll be nice. I know some girls here who also like the scents, so it's always nice to give our opinion on them.
I hate getting scents online if I don't know what they smell like. But nine times out of ten, I end up liking them. That 1% is the Pink Chiffon scent. I'm not a fan of it. I know it's a floral scent, but I don't like it. Until I read the back, I always thought it smelled like gummy candy. AND I FREAKING WORKED THERE AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.
Yay me.
But I generally ALWAYS go for floral and musky scents. I have to grab a few more things and then I think my collection will be complete!
Life is alright right now.
I'm enjoying it.
Do I enjoy Friday Night Musings?
We'll see.
Friday, June 12, 2015
I had originally typed out "lately" (the blog title) as "lATELY" and I almost liked the aesthetic of it enough to keep it, but alas, I got rid of it.
Today is usually thankful Thursday but today I have a thought.
Call it thoughtful Thursday I suppose.
I want to do something on Friday nights. I usually would do something on Wednesday and Thursday, but I now want to extend stuff to Fridays. Maybe where I just muse to myself and talk about things. That I would usually talk about on any other day.
//struggles//
But ya know. I don't do too much on Friday nights.
Friday Night Thoughts. Friday Night Findings. Friday Night Musings.
Okay we'll see.
Bye.
*
xx
* = this is so stupid.
Today is usually thankful Thursday but today I have a thought.
Call it thoughtful Thursday I suppose.
I want to do something on Friday nights. I usually would do something on Wednesday and Thursday, but I now want to extend stuff to Fridays. Maybe where I just muse to myself and talk about things. That I would usually talk about on any other day.
//struggles//
But ya know. I don't do too much on Friday nights.
Friday Night Thoughts. Friday Night Findings. Friday Night Musings.
Okay we'll see.
Bye.
*
xx
* = this is so stupid.
Monday, June 8, 2015
Today I bought a car.
I honestly can't remember where I did and didn't say that, but I know I said it on my Facebook and on my Tumblr. But I did. I bought a car with my own money and it was awesome.
I wasn't expecting to do it so quickly. I was going to do it in August when I was actually home for real, but I found a really good bargain (like.... holy cow, super good bargain) and after going down there with my friend, being overjoyed that the guy there was a Seahawks fan (duh, why would you root for any other team??), looking at the interior, looking at all the parts it had (thanks dad for teaching me all I know about cars), test drives, and paperwork...
I HAVE A CAR. It's not brand new, and I didn't want a brand new one. I've been driving a 2013 Honda Pilot for the last year or so, and I'm all like... "I don't need this. It's too big for me" which.. it isn't really that big, but I always wanted something smaller.
And something that was still an automatic because uh... I can't drive a stick for shiz. No matter how simple it may be. But it's on my bucket list of things to do.
But my car is an automatic. And it's also smaller.
It's a slug bug car. And it's yellow. And it's the cutest thing I ever did see.
I'm in love with her already.
Because my car is a she this time. My Honda Pilot is a dude car. His name will forever and always be Dawson.
My new car is named Daisy.
Maybe I'll get a picture up at a later time, but this is probably going to be the only blog post I'll make during my pass back home, because I've done so much. I've been so busy, but I truly don't mind it all that much.
But I will post what I wore today.
That shirt tho. I think I need anything relating to Paris. Or mermaids/underwater. Or dogs. I'm not a cat person at all whatsoever, but there are a few things cat related that I have. So I have that going for me. I kept it really simple. Not that I'm not ever simple with what I wear, though.
Shirt: $29.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Skirt: $28.50 at Head Over Heels. Find it here.
Shoes: $29.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Necklace: Usually $6 but selling for $4 at Charlotte Russe. Find it here.
Earrings*: $6 at Charlotte Russe. Find them here.
Love you all.
xxxx
* = I wore all six of those pairs of earrings in my ears today. You'd never know it because I don't ever wear all of them, but I have about a billion holes in my head. So to keep them from closing up, I changed out and rotated all of them to make sure. Most of my piercings are in my ears, but I have my nose pierced three times (twice on one side), smiley, septum, and belly button. 96% of the rest are in my ears. Sorrynot sorry dad.
I honestly can't remember where I did and didn't say that, but I know I said it on my Facebook and on my Tumblr. But I did. I bought a car with my own money and it was awesome.
I wasn't expecting to do it so quickly. I was going to do it in August when I was actually home for real, but I found a really good bargain (like.... holy cow, super good bargain) and after going down there with my friend, being overjoyed that the guy there was a Seahawks fan (duh, why would you root for any other team??), looking at the interior, looking at all the parts it had (thanks dad for teaching me all I know about cars), test drives, and paperwork...
I HAVE A CAR. It's not brand new, and I didn't want a brand new one. I've been driving a 2013 Honda Pilot for the last year or so, and I'm all like... "I don't need this. It's too big for me" which.. it isn't really that big, but I always wanted something smaller.
And something that was still an automatic because uh... I can't drive a stick for shiz. No matter how simple it may be. But it's on my bucket list of things to do.
But my car is an automatic. And it's also smaller.
It's a slug bug car. And it's yellow. And it's the cutest thing I ever did see.
I'm in love with her already.
Because my car is a she this time. My Honda Pilot is a dude car. His name will forever and always be Dawson.
My new car is named Daisy.
Maybe I'll get a picture up at a later time, but this is probably going to be the only blog post I'll make during my pass back home, because I've done so much. I've been so busy, but I truly don't mind it all that much.
But I will post what I wore today.
That shirt tho. I think I need anything relating to Paris. Or mermaids/underwater. Or dogs. I'm not a cat person at all whatsoever, but there are a few things cat related that I have. So I have that going for me. I kept it really simple. Not that I'm not ever simple with what I wear, though.
Shirt: $29.99 at ModCloth. Find it here.
Skirt: $28.50 at Head Over Heels. Find it here.
Shoes: $29.99 at ModCloth. Find them here.
Necklace: Usually $6 but selling for $4 at Charlotte Russe. Find it here.
Earrings*: $6 at Charlotte Russe. Find them here.
Love you all.
xxxx
* = I wore all six of those pairs of earrings in my ears today. You'd never know it because I don't ever wear all of them, but I have about a billion holes in my head. So to keep them from closing up, I changed out and rotated all of them to make sure. Most of my piercings are in my ears, but I have my nose pierced three times (twice on one side), smiley, septum, and belly button. 96% of the rest are in my ears. Sorry
Sunday, June 7, 2015
You know what I love almost more than anything?
(you know... other than dogs, talking to myself, or basically everything?)
Being home for the weekend.
I love being home for the weekend. I've already done so many things and even though today (Sunday) is my last full day of being home, I can honestly say that these have been the best ever. I miss sleeping in my own bed. I miss being able to have candles lit everywhere. I miss taking bubble baths. I miss aimlessly driving around the valley with no clear destination. I miss my cousin. I miss my best friends.
I miss... pretty much everything ever.
But I at least get that back for a weekend, and my my what a fun weekend it's been.
One of my BYU/Provo friends came up to visit me when she learned I was going to be home for the weekend and we were able to bro out and go to the mall and get yummy smoothie drinks. We asked a random to take a picture of us and now that I really look at it, I can see so much change in me. I can see how awesome I look.
I look good right now, at this time of my life. I know that sounds weird, but if you know me, you might know that that's a big deal for me. And sorry for preaching personal stuff, but this IS a blog, y'know. And I know I can document this sappy ish on my private blog, but hey. Someone out there may need to know that life isn't always suckish and that things can be okay.
And that you look hella good.
Because I look hella good.
Plus my hair is getting longer. I love my hair.
Anywayyyyyz.
We had a lot of fun at the mall. I'm going to *try* and go back on Monday AKA the day I'm supposed to go back to where I've been at for the last two months (two down, two to go, y'all). But it probably won't happen because they always want people back by like, 10:00.
LAME.
Buuuuuut I'm still going to post what I wore today (today meaning Sunday) on the blog later on. I could post all the things I've worn from Friday to now, but I don't really want to go through all the websites and remember what I wore.
I've mostly been in pajamas because I miss living in them haha.
But I generally shop at ModCloth, SexyModest, Head Over Heels, Forever21, Charlotte Russe, and Anthropologie, if you want to get an idea of what I wear most often. I don't really have "most worn" things because I really like everything I wear.
Duh.
And I still have those two posts I need to finish.
Forever lazy.
Oh well.
Love you all.
xx
(you know... other than dogs, talking to myself, or basically everything?)
Being home for the weekend.
I love being home for the weekend. I've already done so many things and even though today (Sunday) is my last full day of being home, I can honestly say that these have been the best ever. I miss sleeping in my own bed. I miss being able to have candles lit everywhere. I miss taking bubble baths. I miss aimlessly driving around the valley with no clear destination. I miss my cousin. I miss my best friends.
I miss... pretty much everything ever.
But I at least get that back for a weekend, and my my what a fun weekend it's been.
One of my BYU/Provo friends came up to visit me when she learned I was going to be home for the weekend and we were able to bro out and go to the mall and get yummy smoothie drinks. We asked a random to take a picture of us and now that I really look at it, I can see so much change in me. I can see how awesome I look.
I look good right now, at this time of my life. I know that sounds weird, but if you know me, you might know that that's a big deal for me. And sorry for preaching personal stuff, but this IS a blog, y'know. And I know I can document this sappy ish on my private blog, but hey. Someone out there may need to know that life isn't always suckish and that things can be okay.
And that you look hella good.
Because I look hella good.
Plus my hair is getting longer. I love my hair.
Anywayyyyyz.
We had a lot of fun at the mall. I'm going to *try* and go back on Monday AKA the day I'm supposed to go back to where I've been at for the last two months (two down, two to go, y'all). But it probably won't happen because they always want people back by like, 10:00.
LAME.
Buuuuuut I'm still going to post what I wore today (today meaning Sunday) on the blog later on. I could post all the things I've worn from Friday to now, but I don't really want to go through all the websites and remember what I wore.
I've mostly been in pajamas because I miss living in them haha.
But I generally shop at ModCloth, SexyModest, Head Over Heels, Forever21, Charlotte Russe, and Anthropologie, if you want to get an idea of what I wear most often. I don't really have "most worn" things because I really like everything I wear.
Duh.
And I still have those two posts I need to finish.
Forever lazy.
Oh well.
Love you all.
xx
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