Building myself

Last night I was thinking about some things that had happened to me in my life as a whole. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but that's fine. I never totally make sense anyway. Entirely, I was thinking about the year 2014. I think I often speak of that year being The Worst Year of my Life.

And it should be. 2014 really should be the worst year of my life. I could make a case saying late 2012 to early 2013 were bad. But that was a span of months. 2014 consisted of twelve completely awful months for me. In a little bit of defense though, it didn't start out bad.

Actually, I remember it starting out with fireworks and having to deal with a crying baby. So no, it really had a bad start to totally begin with, now that I think about it. Well would you look at that. I'm actually sort of laughing how I never caught that until now. That's just incredible.

Without going into too many details because being detailed right now is something I don't want to be, having your own flesh and blood getting taken away from you is truly the worst. There is no pain ever that will get you ready for that. It was sudden and unexpected and not something I would wish on anyone. It was the most horrific experience.

When you think you like a guy and for some really stupid freaking reason you decide to throw out completely personal information for literally no reason at all and having that somehow draw red flags wasn't exactly too great either. That was a really stupid learning experience. Actually, he as a whole was a learning experience.

Don't trust boys with cute faces because they can turn very ugly in a snap.

Being homeless for what seemed like eternity but was really only a couple of days at most was probably the icing on the cake. I've said this before, but had my friend not smuggled me into her dorm room after I had overstayed there, I don't know where I'd be right now.

Probably dead.

Just kidding.

Not really.

Anyway, I was thinking about all of those things last night. The memories, the people, the feelings, the things taken away from me. A lot of things were taken away from me in the span of only a couple of months. Building myself back up from literally nothing at all was hard work. Probably the hardest work I've ever done and will ever do. I don't know why I started thinking of that year, and specifically, I was only thinking about the first half of the year. The second half was so much better, and it actually led to 2015 being one of the best years of my life ever.

I'm graduating college a year early in thirteen days. On top of that, I'm a double major.

I'm going to law school because I have a great GPA and my LSAT score is better than I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be so low, but it was higher than what I was reaching for. And I remember when I got my score back, I was just so over the moon excited.

Things like that have made me give myself more credit than what I was usually giving myself. I've done a lot of great things over the last two years and it's time for me to give myself more pats on the back for doing good things.

The next few months are going to be crazy and hectic and full of travel and friends and great things, and I truly can't wait to see what sort of great things will be done specifically. 2014 is so far in the rearview but somehow I always keep looking back to make sure I don't turn around and go back there. It wasn't fun for anyone and I refuse to put myself back there.

That's a road that no one needs to go down.

Today, Sunday, isn't so bad! Today I took a shower and then I went to church and then I took a bath and then I did some laundry and now I'm sitting here blogging and listening to one of my records. I love that vinyl is still a thing. It just sounds so much better.

The aesthetic. Of course.

Here's to good things in 2016.