My lack of blogging has been evident to me. I don't know how many people see this, and that's okay. But I feel like the fact that this is public and it's like I'm sort of on some sort of non existent throne is why my blogging has been lacking.
No worries, my B&BW collection will still be blogged.
I think it's the level of self confidence that's been keeping me away from this, and there's really nothing wrong with that, but I just want to be a better blogger. I started blogging just over four years ago in a blog that isn't public, and I would blog on that thing almost every day, and it's evident from the amount of posts that I have on there. Once upon a time, that blog was public and for everyone. It was just on a whim where I looked at my blog traffic and where it was coming from that I realized
"Oh, alright, someone in Russia is viewing my blog from a completely unknown-to-me source. I should probably do something about that."
Sorry to the Russian who was reading that blog. But some things need to stay kept away from the public.
So after a ton of thought, I thought I would make a blog that's totally open to everyone who wants to read my words. And you're on that blog, reading said words right now. But because this is public, I feel like I have to live up to a certain type of standard exactly because this is public. It's like all eyes are on me, and I sort of feel like that's putting pressure on me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to blog on here. This thing isn't going anywhere and I'm not going anywhere. But I just feel like I was more exciting. I wish my life was more exciting. Really, the only thing that's getting me stoked is that my friend is coming home from her mission in a couple of weeks and that I'm moving to Salt Lake City. Both exciting things, but nothing that could be deemed as "social media worthy".
Ah, social media. Good ol' social media. Another thing that pressures me to be exciting.
It's almost like it isn't fun anymore. I feel like I have to post something to my Instagram or tweet whatever incoherent nonsense that I'm thinking at the time. I've embedded in my head that I need to post something on Instagram at the exact same time every day, and it'll be "so bad" if I don't do that.
Every. Single. Day.
At
Every. Single. Time.
Like.. that's crazy. Why should I keep doing that? And odds are, it's a photo of the Temple or a photo of something I took while I was on vacation in Europe.
Why do I not post what I'm wearing or the view outside my house or of my car or what I'm eating?
To put it simply, I just don't think what I'm doing right now is interesting. I don't feel like I'm in a place to post anything super current on my Instagram. I don't feel like I have anything that'll resonate with people on Twitter.
I don't feel like I have anything to give to social media or to people reading this.
I feel boring. And yeah, I do hope to snap out of this funk I am, but I have to find ways to shake it. I don't feel like anyone who follows me on Instagram specifically will care all that much if I take a day or two to shake off a funk. Besides, I don't really think people post on there every single day. They don't feel like they need to post every day.
Maybe I should take a page from those people and do that myself.
I really do want to get back into blogging and posting things on here. I don't post what I wear on here anymore, and that's probably something that's been noticed. I don't try to keep up and follow what the trends are anymore. I don't blow money the first chance I get on clothes from ModCloth and F21 and DownEast anymore. I have clothes (and if you know me, you know that that wasn't always the case - I used to go about my day wearing socks with holes and long sleeved shirts with holes all over them) and I don't have that massive need to blog what I wear now.
I suppose you could say I "grew up".. no offense to fashion bloggers, but that's just not really my thing anymore. Props for real for the fashion bloggers who do that as a job. I can't imagine getting paid or having a full time job to do that, no matter how fun it might look. Just because it looks fun doesn't mean it is.
The closest I got to fashion blogging recently was when I posted a photo onto my Instagram the other day of a dress I got. I was going out that night and I couldn't find a dress that I really liked, so I filed that in the back of my head. Fast forward to when I had to run to Walmart to run an errand, I was looking at the selection of clothes they had and found a cute dress, so I nabbed it for maybe $15.
That's really it. That's the closest I get to fashion blogging. But you know, maybe I'll start that back up and post things like that every once in awhile. It could never hurt, and on the rare occasion I find a fashion blog, it's always a great way to find a new idea or tip to incorporate into my own attire.
We'll see what happens.
For now, I bid you adieu.
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