I mean, it wasn't anything ~super bad~ but like.. I wouldn't do that stuff now if I could go back in time. And hey, a lot of times, we'd end up at Taco Bell and got something to eat before I got dropped off at my house. The funny thing about that is that with each guy I did that with, we never talked at school. We just went on by in our little high school lives.
I probably did that with a few high school guys and a couple college aged guys.
It's whatever. I don't do that anymore.
This morning I was puttering around Facebook and checked out the "On This Day" thing that I always forget to look at, but always want to look at. Today, two years ago, I was on my way back to Logan, also on my way to not being homeless anymore. That was such a trip to see and read. I remember that part like it was yesterday. I think at that point I didn't care what was happening to me (I needed brain surgery), I just wanted to be back in my cute little townhouse in the Cache Valley.
And that happened. And then I got brain surgery. Then I had like, a forty minute conversation with the guy I liked/was pretty much forced to get over (lol @ him). I don't know. I've been sort of thinking about him lately, which is garbage because every time I think about him, I get really angry for a few days until I somehow make myself stop.
He and I never dated, nor did really any guy I've ever liked, but I act like I dated all of them because I don't talk to any of them and they don't talk to me. But I've really only had two real boyfriends. Probably because I'm "crazy". Oh well. It's fine.
Anyway, this entire month for me is so weird because of 2014. That was the stupidest year of my life, and I'm sad that it still has a hold on me. For more than one reason, it'll always have a hold on me. I've accepted that long ago, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, because it'll always hurt.
I think this is the most open I've been about that month and that year in awhile, and that says a lot, because I hardly talked about it above. I'd really like to make a post about that entire year and go month by month, but all of that is really personal and I'd name drop and call people names and blow up, and I don't want to do that. I'm pretty public about things, but I don't need to be public about things on here all the time. So I might make that a private word blog post.
Basically, time is flying and I couldn't be more happy. I recently moved away from Logan into the Salt Lake area, and I'm so so blessed. My sister is living with me for her senior year, and she's got a cute little romance with a guy who works at a fro yo shop. I recently added another member to my family and got a hedgehog. Her name is Alice and she's a total doll. Bear, my dog, even gets along with her. I recently got my dream internship/job that's going to look so awesome on my resume. This is my last month of "freedom", as I go from a 0L to a 1L (in law school terms, someone who has been accepted to a first year student) AKA start law school.
I think the term I can use right now in my life is "thrive". I'm thriving and I'm doing well with my eating disorders and my health (it's as good as it's been in a really long time) and I'm feeling pretty good. I have the three f's in my life (faith, family, friends <- in that order) and... I'm just happy and thriving in my life.
July 2016 > July 2014
* = maybe like.. some stuff.... but not a lot of stuff... lol just ask me yourself if you really wanna know
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