Hello, blog readers. Sorry it's been awhile since I've been on here. I took a lot of last month to move and take time for myself and that meant not blogging for a little bit. Don't worry, I'm still on here. I've also been trying to find law-related internships to I can make my resume really pretty come law school and beyond.
Anyway, that's probably not what people want to read about.
July 4 isn't really one of those fun holidays that everyone seems to always have, from what I see on my Facebook feed or my Instagram timeline or even all the memes on Tumblr. It used to be one of those fun get together holidays when I was younger, and my family would all be together at a home of a family member that was on the beach and all of us kids would have a blast playing around with each other on the water and then we'd all fall asleep before or during the firework show.
Recently, it hasn't been like that. This month is always tough for me, and it's been tough for me for the last two years.
I was homeless two years ago this month. The circumstances were out of my hands and I had no power in it. Things happened the way they did and I have no ill will to the people who left me homeless, honestly. They're wonderful people and to this day, they feel bad about it. Who I do have ill will towards is my dad and the family members he brainwashed to make me seem like The Worst Person Ever.
I had nowhere to go and no one to stay with where I was. Ironically, I was left smack in the middle of my hometown in Washington State. My hometown is pretty big, but I had no friends there at the time. I didn't know what to do, and the guy I liked at the time told me that we could hang out, but only for the day because he was active military at that time. Which was so nice at the time, but I needed shelter for more than just a day.
He sucks now, but that was a really nice gesture. Thanks boo.
My friend who went to the University of Washington campus in Tacoma saved me for a little while, and let me live with her in her dorm for a few days while I tried to find a place with what very little money I had with me. I had given my dad $8000 of my own money to put into his bank account because I was really hesitant to put it into mine, and when I learned I needed to leave, I asked my dad if he could give me my money so I could just get a plane ticket back to Utah because that would have saved everything.
He didn't do that though. And that essentially left me homeless.
I couldn't find a place with the money I had, so my friend dropped me off back in my hometown and that was that. I camped out at a Starbucks until closing, trying my best to find something, anything, that would give me a roof over my head. All I wanted was a roof over my head.
If you enter my hometown "the front way", you have to drive under this massive bridge. Massive because it's so high up. I remember walking along it that night after Starbucks closed and I thought how easy it would be if I just jumped off it*. I was so close to jumping off that bridge, it wasn't funny. I don't know what sort of force kept me from jumping off of it, but I didn't.
I kept walking.
I entered a little park and I slept in my luggage overnight. That's what I did.
A miracle came to me in the form of my friend who was going to school in Tacoma, and she saved my life. I can't remember too much after that (that time in my life is a major blur) but I remember being in a hotel. I remember my dad calling me because I also needed brain surgery and he knew that. Eventually I got back into Utah, the guy I liked completely ripped my heart out, I got brain surgery, and I was put back into where I lived in Utah.
I'm lucky. I was only really homeless for a short amount of time. Many people aren't that lucky and have been homeless for a very long time. I think about that time in my life very often and I could hardly last a day outside at night, and I don't know what I would have done if I was out there longer. I'm grateful to have a warm house to live in, I'm grateful to have running water, I'm grateful for the roof over my head, I'm grateful that I have clothes that fit me to wear, I'm grateful for my family who stuck by me, I'm grateful for the friends who have stayed in my life, and I'm grateful for my amazing Heavenly Father who has a plan for me, even if that means being homeless.
And I'm extremely grateful for my friend who snatched me up and took me back to Tacoma.
B, I love you so much and there isn't one day that passes where I don't thank you.
The summer of 2014 wasn't easy for me, and 90% of that entire year wasn't easy for me. But when you recover from brain surgery, talk to an idiot guy and get him out of your life, and go back to school, things get a lot better.
I'm blessed and I'm lucky.
Today I'm sitting at my desk listening to the new Bastille song with happy tears falling down my face because I'm blessed, I'm lucky, and I'm happy. I'm not healthy and I won't ever be, but I'm lucky.
I have the best people in my life, and I'm lucky.
* = that bridge was popular for jumpers. There's a high fence on the sides now to prevent jumping.
Post a Comment